


Seeing With The Heart

by Aglarien



Series: Seeing With The Heart [1]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4329678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aglarien/pseuds/Aglarien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing With The Heart

Title: Seeing With the Heart (1/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 1

 

It began as a beautiful spring day with the two Elves continuing their journey home from a diplomatic visit to the Grey Havens. They were less than a day’s ride from reaching Bree on the Great East Road when a scrubby band of Men decided that two isolated travelers were fair game for the picking. 

It did not take the ruffians long to rue their decision, nor too long after that to cease any thought at all, as one by one, the Elven warriors ended their existence.

Glorfindel dispatched the final would-be bandit with an oath worthy of Morgoth himself, and wiped his bloodied blade on the man’s clothing. “Damn it!” the captain of Imladris exclaimed, looking around at the six dead men. “And we have nothing to dig their graves with. I suppose we can gather rocks and stones and build a cairn over them to keep the wild animals away. Stupid men.” He kicked a man’s sword aside and began to pull the bodies off to the side of the road.

Erestor sank to his knees as he felt his blade sink into the flesh of his last attacker. Head bowed, he knelt unmoving as his breath came in harsh gasps. There was a pounding in his head as he heard blood churning through his ears, making the sound of Glorfindel’s voice distant and muffled. He fought against the sickening nausea, and his skin was coated with a film of warm sweat. His sword hilt clenched in his hand, the bloody blade resting at his side, he struggled to control his fear and pain. He forced himself to take a deep, trembling breath.

“Are you going to help me?” Glorfindel asked. “Perhaps you could start gathering stones?”

Erestor slowly raised his head toward the sound of Glorfindel’s voice, and then slowly toppled over onto his side. 

At the sight of Erestor’s face and the glazed look in his eyes, Glorfindel unceremoniously dropped the body he had been dragging. When Erestor collapsed onto the road, he rushed to the other Elf’s side. “Erestor?” he said softly, his fingers reaching for the side of his friend’s head to find the source of the blood that trailed across the chief counselor’s cheek. “Can you hear me?” It was obvious the Elf could hear nothing – Erestor was still and silent. Glorfindel drew Erestor’s head onto his lap and pressed the edge of his tunic against the wound to stop the bleeding. And then he waited for Erestor to regain consciousness. There was nothing else he could do. 

Long, panic-filled minutes passed before Erestor finally regained his senses. The injured Elf groaned and rolled his head off of Glorfindel’s lap – to be violently ill in the dirt road, 

Glorfindel quickly pulled Erestor’s dark mane out of the way and wiped his friend’s mouth with a non-bloodied section of his tunic edge. “How badly are you hurt?” he asked gently. “Can you speak to me?” 

Erestor raised a hand, grasping Glorfindel’s arm. Were it anyone other than Glorfindel, he would have been loathe to admit his weakness and embarrassed for anyone to see him in his present state, but this was his old, trusted friend whom he did not have to hide his injury from. “The man with the club…hit my head when the others attacked me,” he whispered unsteadily. “I cannot see… and there is a great pounding in my head. My head and my stomach are both spinning.” 

“You are blinded?” Glorfindel gasped out. He had noticed for a brief moment during the fight that Erestor was not wielding his sword as gracefully as he normally did, but with each of them battling three men, the thought passed out of his mind. Now he realized that it was because Erestor not only did not see his attackers and had been fighting purely by sound, but he was injured, battling the effects of the blow and struggling to remain conscious at the same time. Glorfindel felt grateful for his friend’s skill at arms, recalling the hours they had spent sparring blindfolded. Without that practice and Erestor’s strength and determination, the chief counselor of Imladris might well be dead. There was no doubt that Erestor was a powerful warrior, for all his acumen in diplomacy and negotiation. He unfastened a silver flask from his belt, uncapped it, and placed it in Erestor’s hand, now freed of the sword hilt. “Drink. It is Miruvor.”

Erestor lifted his shaking hand, and then felt Glorfindel’s steady one close around his to help him. He carefully took a deep drink, feeling the liquid begin to revive him, lessening the pain in his head. Erestor lowered the flask to his lap as Glorfindel’s hand moved away. He heard his friend rustling around and the sound of fabric ripping. A cool, wet cloth was wiped gently across his face and brow. He could feel Glorfindel recapping the Miruvor and then he heard the deep, mellow voice again.

“Hold onto the flask, Erestor. I am going to lift you and carry you to rest against a tree off the road while I move the men’s bodies. It will give you a chance to recover a bit before we leave.”

The words were hardly said before Erestor found himself sitting with his back against a broad tree trunk, a water skin placed on his lap along with the Miruvor, and the cool, wet cloth to his brow.

Glorfindel dragged the remaining bodies to the side of the road, placing the scoundrels’ weapons beside them. There was no time to cover the bodies with stones – the urgency of Erestor’s situation came first, and he would alert someone in Bree about the men when they arrived there. He briefly considered bypassing the town altogether, but there was a merchant there who was known to the Elves of Rivendell. The man would provide shelter for them so Erestor could rest in privacy. With any luck, they could enter the town without anyone being the wiser. He did not want any more men to know that two Elves, one of them wounded and sightless, were traveling alone along the road. He cleaned his sword and Erestor’s, whistled for their horses, stored both weapons in their sheaths on the saddles, and was back at the blind Elf’s side before more than a few minutes had passed.

Erestor heard their mounts move and felt Glorfindel’s presence beside him. “Are the horses well?”

Glorfindel nodded, and then realized how silly that action was. “They are unharmed, thank the Valar. Do you feel able to ride, Erestor? I will take you before me on Asfaloth.”

“I can ride Dulinn, Glorfindel,” Erestor said with a hint of defiance, speaking of his own black stallion. He was blind, not crippled. Even though he was only a few inches shorter than the tall Glorfindel, he was lighter, but that was no reason to burden Asfaloth with two riders.

“I know you can,” the captain said gently. “But will you not feel more secure riding with me? At least until we are closer to Bree. You took a hard blow to that thick skull of yours as well, Erestor. We do not know what problems the riding will cause. Let me help you, my friend.”

Erestor sighed. “You are right, of course.” He sniffed the air and moved his head from side to side. “I do not like this…emptiness I feel,” he whispered. “All is as black as pitch, and I cannot sense anything if it is still. It unnerves me. If I were riding Dulinn, you would have to talk non-stop so I knew I was not alone.” It did no good to wonder if his blindness was temporary or permanent – only time and perhaps Elrond would tell. For now, it simply was. “Well,” he said after a moment, “let us go. I want to get home. I need to get home, where at least I can feel secure in the darkness.”

It was several hours later when the Elves neared the town of Bree. Glorfindel had explained his plan of stopping there, but Erestor had spoken little. In truth, he felt nauseous from the blow to his head, along with the hammering headache he had, and they had had to stop twice for him to be sick again. He was preoccupied with his blindness, worried thoughts filling his mind. He knew the nausea would lessen and finally pass as his head healed – this was not the first time he had been struck there. 

They could not be seen riding together, so the captain helped Erestor mount Dulinn for the remainder of the way, making sure that both were concealed by their cloaks and hoods. “Keep your hood around your face if you can, Erestor,” Glorfindel said, eying the counselor with concern. He knew that Erestor was in pain, in addition to being light-headed and sick to his stomach; even if they hadn’t stopped for him to vomit, it would have been easy to discern the way the injured Elf had leaned so heavily against him. “Dulinn will stay close to Asfaloth, and I will be right beside you. Do not hesitate to tell me if you need to stop.”

“I will be fine, Glorfindel,” Erestor said. “Let us ride on. The best thing for me right now is to get to Bree and find Robert quickly so I can get off this horse and rest for a while.” The pain in his head was worsening and his stomach seemed to roll along with the horse’s movement. He prayed he would not be ill again, in sight of the town and its residents. 

Dusk was still an hour or more away when they reached the crowded town. They passed through the open gates of Bree, unnoticed among other townspeople coming and going, and rode slowly up the main street. 

Glorfindel looked at all the signs hanging from the establishments and homes that lined the street, seeing nothing that identified the Elf-friend they hoped to find. “Do you have any idea where Robert’s home or business is, Erestor?” he whispered.

“None. Except I know he mentioned that it is in the town somewhere and his home is over the leather goods shop with the tannery behind,” Erestor replied softly. “Is there a child around to ask?”

Glorfindel spied a thin, male child standing outside of the baker’s shop. Tip-toeing, he held onto the sill of the window and pulled himself up to gaze within. It was not difficult to discern what he was wishing for. The boy could do with a good meal. Carefully guiding Asfaloth closer, he reached for a large silver coin from his pouch and held it out. “Here, child,” he said in the common tongue. “Answer my question and you will have this coin. Where is the home of Robert the leather merchant?”

The boy dropped to his feet and let go of the sill, spinning to look hungrily at the coin that glinted in the fading sunlight. “Master Tanner? ‘is place is down’t end of street. Sign wit’ a ‘orses ‘arness out front.”

“Thank you, child,” Glorfindel said with a smile. He flipped the coin to the lad who deftly caught it, and watched him run into the baker’s shop.

“Soon, Erestor,” Glorfindel whispered. “We must be almost there.”

The street curved; after the bend, there was the sign with the horse’s harness in front of a large building set apart from its neighbors. The shop was closed and dark. Glorfindel dismounted and knocked loudly at the door, stepping back to watch the windows above the shop. 

A head covered with curly brown hair and attached to a small boy appeared at the window. “We’re closed, Sir! Come back tomorrow morning.”

“Run and get your father for me, young one!” Glorfindel called up. “I promise you he would wish it!”

Erestor heard the boy call out, “Da!” followed by a deeper voice demanding to know who it was who disturbed his family’s supper. The counselor moved his hood away from his face enough for the man to see him, turning his head towards the sound of the voices.

“Who? What…?” Robert Tanner stumbled on his words when he saw who waited below. “Oh, dear heavens above! Fry me for a fish! You wait there, Master, and I’ll be right down!”

“Thank the Valar,” Glorfindel sighed, helping Erestor down from his horse. “I feared he would not be here.” He stood with his arm around the counselor’s waist.

A small side door next to the shop opened and a tall, burly man rushed out, followed by his three sons. He was of middle age with a light dusting of grey in his hark hair. “What brings you here, Master Erestor? Lord Glorfindel?” the tanner asked in a whisper. 

“Robert, we need your help. Erestor was wounded in a battle with ruffians on the road a few hours west,” Glorfindel said quietly. “He was blinded by a blow to the head. We have come looking for shelter in secret so he can rest for a day or two and I can attend to his head injury before we continue the journey home. I would prefer that no one else know about us since we are traveling alone. I would also prefer that we not be connected with the six dead bodies lying alongside the road, but I would be grateful if you would notify your authorities about them somehow so they can have a proper burial.”

The tanner nodded and then spoke to his sons. “John, you take the horses ‘round to the barn and make sure they’re brushed and given good food and water. Then bring the saddlebags and the rest of their gear into the house.” The middle of the three boys, a lad of about twelve years, immediately moved to the horses and began to lead them to the barn behind the family’s home and business. 

“What’ll I say if any of the workers sees ‘em and asks about ‘em, Da?” John asked.

“Just tell ‘em I’ve some old friends stayin’ here to visit with me a spell,” Robert answered, “and they’re not to be botherin’ ‘em with questions. Tell ‘em they’re on a religious pilgrimage – that should keep ‘em from being too curious.”

“We best take the swords and bows and the rest of them weapons up now then, Da. They’re a sure give-a-way that there’s Elves here,” Robert’s eldest son, Tom, said. “The saddles we made here so they’re all right.”

Robert nodded and reached for the weapons, shaking his head when Glorfindel tried to take some of them. “I’ll carry ‘em, milord,” he said. “You need to help Master Erestor up those stairs. Tom, you run down to The Prancing Pony and see if them two Elves that were here earlier are still there. They wanted to take their supper there before goin’ on their way, and with luck they’ll be there still. Look for ‘em quiet-like, and tell ‘em your Da forgot to give ‘em something and to come back quick. Don’t you go an’ tell anyone that Master Erestor and Lord Glorfindel are here, but you make sure you bring ‘em two back.”

“I’ll do it, Da,” Tom said, nodding. “Be back in a wink.” The tall, sturdy, dark-haired boy of about sixteen years was off down the street at a brisk pace.

“Willem, you go and get your ma and help her make up the bed in the spare bedroom with fresh linens and put clean water in the pitcher on the washstand,” the tanner said, speaking to his youngest son of about eight years. Will dashed back into the house. He shared his brothers’ dark hair and would be as tall and strong as his siblings.

“You bring Master Erestor inside to the kitchen, milord, and we’ll get a good meal into the two of you while there’s water heatin’ for a nice bath. We got a nice big tub we’ll put in the bedroom for you.” Robert led the way back through the small side door and up a narrow flight of stairs.

“What two Elves, Robert?” Glorfindel asked in concern as he led Erestor up the stairs. He was not aware of any Elves who would be traveling this way.

“Those twin sons of Lord Elrond,” Robert answered. “Their da told ‘em to come and get some big pieces of leather for makin’ into clothes from me, knowin’ I wasn’t due to make another trip to Rivendell for some months.” The Elves of Rivendell often purchased large amounts of leather from the tanner to supplement their own supplies, being unwilling to slaughter animals simply for their hides.

“Then I pray they are still there and your son brings them back,” Glorfindel said. “Elladan and Elrohir are healers, as their father is. Nothing could be better, unless it was Lord Elrond himself.”

Erestor had stood in silence while the others talked outside the house, and remained silent as they ascended the stairs. It was much easier to let Glorfindel do the speaking while his head still pounded. Halfway up the stairs he suddenly stopped, however. “Glorfindel,” he hissed. “Please stop dragging me like a dog. Let go of my arm and let me take yours instead. Just don’t out-pace me or pull me along. I have to feel for the steps with my feet.”

“Forgive me, Erestor,” Glorfindel said sheepishly. “I have never helped someone who could not see before.”

Erestor sighed. “I know. I have never done this before either, but I find it is very nerve-wracking to be pulled and you are going too fast. Forgive me for being sharp and sounding ungrateful. I could not do this without you.”

Glorfindel placed Erestor’s hand on his arm. “Then we will learn how to do this together, my friend.”

A comfortable chair was brought into the kitchen for Erestor to sit in and placed before the table. He sank into it appreciatively, resting his head on the high back. “Thank you, Robert,” he said. “I do not think I could have easily continued our journey, and I dread the thought of staying in some strange inn with curious onlookers.”

“You think nothin’ of it, Master Erestor,” Robert replied, his speech beginning to slip into the careful enunciation of the Elves, as it always did when he was around them. “You Elves have helped me often enough, and the leather and goods you buy has kept my family fed for many a year. How many times have I stayed in the comfort of a nice room in Rivendell and eaten at table with you Elves, and Lord Elrond, bless ‘im, accepting nothin’ in payment for it? This is my chance to do something good in return like.”

“We are most grateful, Robert,” Glorfindel said. “Erestor, do you think you could eat something now? You have taken nothing since this morning before we set out, and you lost that a few times over. You must be starving.”

“My stomach is feeling better,” Erestor answered, hoping it was true and he could keep some food down. “If only my head would stop throbbing. But I am hungry and I think I can eat now.”

Robert cut a loaf of bread and a brick of cheese into slices and set them on the table, along with two bowls of a stew made from meat and vegetables. He placed two plates in front of the Elves. “You help him eat now, milord, but don’t go feeding him,” he said, nodding knowingly. “Put his bread and cheese on the plate and put one of his hands on it so he can find it to feed himself. He can feel that well enough to know when it’s gone. Then make sure the pieces of meat and vegetables in his stew are cut up small enough for his spoon, and when he wants to eat the stew, put the bowl in front of him and put his spoon in his hand. Put his other hand on the side of the bowl so he knows where it is. Keep an eye on him and let him know when it starts to get empty so you can help him get the last bits out of the bowl.” He placed two mugs of ale on the table. “Put his hand on the mug and let him put it where he wants so he can find it again to drink, but help him if he loses track of it. A blind person can feed themselves, but it helps to have someone looking out for him so they can find things and don’t spill or feel like an idiot. And always remember to tell Master Erestor what’s before him and if it’s cut up or not, otherwise he won’t know without touching it and maybe making a mess of things. And him trying to cut up his own food isn’t a good idea if he can’t see it.” 

“Once again, we are in your debt, Robert,” Glorfindel said gratefully. He never would have thought of all the things the tanner had just explained. He guided Erestor’s hands to his plate of bread and cheese, whispering how many pieces there were of each.

“Blind or not don’t matter – a man deserves to know what’s before him,” Robert said, not quite through with his instructions. “So tell him what he’s got before him so he knows how to eat it. You don’t want someone watching to pity him because no one is helping him and making sure he’s not bringing an empty spoon to his mouth or spilling things down his front. That don’t have to happen if you’re careful like. And Master Erestor, now don’t you be ashamed of asking questions about things and asking for help. You let your pride get in the way and you do nothin’ but frustrate yourself and get angry, and that’ll help no way.”

“How did you gain all this knowledge, Robert?” Erestor asked. He was more thankful to Robert for his advice than he could put into words. He had spent much of his quiet time on the way to Bree thinking of just these things, wondering how he was ever going to manage without his eyesight. The more he thought of it, the more frightened and depressed he had become, although he had managed to conceal it from Glorfindel.

“My old ma, she was blind for many a year. Took us some figuring out, I tell you,” the tanner replied. “That thing with Lord Glorfindel pulling you along – used to make her madder than a wet cat. She’d slap our hands away till we got it right.” He chuckled at the memory. 

With Glorfindel’s help and coaching, Erestor managed to eat his meal without spilling anything or feeling inadequate. He had nearly finished when they heard the sound of horses and voices down below in front of the shop, and then feet coming up the stairs.

Tbc…

Title: Seeing With the Heart (2/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

Chapter 2

“Da!” Tom called out. “I’m back and I got the Elves with me! I took ‘em aside and told ‘em quiet like about Master Erestor and told ‘em they could stay here.” The lad entered the room, followed by two tall, identical, dark-haired Elves. “John took their horses ‘round back. I’ll be sleeping with Will and they can have my room. We took so long so they could get their things and settle the bill. I disturbed their supper, so they’ll be wantin’ some o’ Ma’s good stew too, I reckon.”

“You did real good, Tom,” Robert said, rising to greet the Elves. “You are welcome here for you as long as you all need to stay, Masters.”

Elladan and Elrohir nodded their thanks to the tanner and set their travel packs on the floor. Moving to Erestor, Elladan asked, “How badly is your head injured? Are you in much pain?”

Erestor reached for where he could sense Elladan’s presence and grasped the younger Elf’s arm. “Elladan,” he whispered. “It is very good to have you and your brother here. My head has not stopped pounding.”

“What about your stomach, Erestor?” Elrohir asked, dropping down to his knees beside the counselor. His gentle fingers began probing beneath Erestor’s dark hair. “Were you badly nauseated? Vomiting?”

“I was before, after the attack and as we rode here. I feel better since I got off the horse and have been sitting and resting,” Erestor replied. “I haven’t been sick for a few hours now.”

Glorfindel sighed in relief at the arrival of Elrond’s sons and silently thanked the Valar for what seemed the hundredth time that day. 

The twins finished their examination of the injured elf and administered herbs to ease the pain in his head and help settle Erestor’s stomach even more. “I do not know if your blindness is permanent, Erestor. I am sorry,” Elladan finally said softly. “Perhaps Ada will be able to tell more. It is my hope that the swelling in your head from the blow caused it, and you will recover your sight as your head heals. The nausea you already know will pass in time. I wish I could tell you more, my friend.”

“You should rest here for at least a day before starting for home,” Elrohir said. “Two days would be even better. Elladan and I will stay here with you and Glorfindel and return home with you in case there is any other ill effect from the injury that is not apparent now.” Turning to the tanner, he said, “Thank you for your hospitality, Master Tanner. We are most grateful for your kindness.”

“’Tis nothing,” Robert said, waving away their thanks. “Come sit and eat, Masters, and Lord Glorfindel and Master Erestor can finish their supper too. We’ll fix up Tom’s bed for you and get the bath for Master Erestor ready.” The tanner was already serving more food up, placing it on the table. “I’ll find my Ma’s old walking stick later tonight, and tomorrow I’ll show Master Erestor how to use it to help him see things an’ he can practice with it.”

“That is an excellent idea, Master Tanner!” Elrohir said. “I once saw a blind man use one and it was very helpful. He used it so quickly that he could walk nearly as fast as a sighted man.”

Robert nodded. “It takes some practice to get that good with it, but I reckon Master Erestor will learn quicker than most. My Ma was good with it – could get around anywhere on her own. Used to walk all over town going to the shops and such.”

“But I am not lame,” Erestor said. “What would I use the walking stick for?”

“It is not for helping you walk, Erestor,” Elrohir said. “I daresay you will be able to get around the Last Homely House without it most of the time, but you use it to feel the ground in front of you when you walk so you do not step into holes or run into trees. Instead of feeling around with your hands to see where chairs and tables are, for instance, you use the stick to feel things out before you get to them. It will help you get around on your own so you can still have your independence.”

Erestor raised his eyebrows in interest. “Then I am willing to learn how to use it. You have my thanks again, Robert,” he said.

Once the Elves had eaten they were shown to their rooms. Erestor was left in the care of Glorfindel for his bath and the remainder of the night, the captain having declined assistance from the twins. Robert delivered two of his own nightgowns for the Elves to use. 

Having assisted him with his bath, Glorfindel dressed Erestor in the borrowed nightgown, seating him on the bed so the blinded elf could brush out his newly washed hair. Once his friend was situated safely, the captain had a quick bath in the now cooled water. 

Erestor felt with his hands for the bedside table and laid the brush on it, and then curled up in the bed on his side. A few moments later, the bed dipped as Glorfindel lay beside him, strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him close.

“What is it, Erestor? You have been too quiet since we entered this room. Is your head still hurting? Tell me what you are thinking,” Glorfindel said softly.

“No, my head feels better. I am afraid, Glorfindel,” Erestor whispered.

“What is your biggest fear?”

Erestor was silent for a moment. If there was anyone he could tell his fears too, it was Glorfindel. Aside from the fact that this Elf had secretly held his heart for decades, they were close friends and he trusted Glorfindel with his life. Finally he spoke quietly. “I have two great fears. The first is that I can no longer be useful. That I will no longer have a purpose to my life. How can I continue as Elrond’s chief counselor if I cannot see? What will I do without my sight? I cannot write, I cannot read…I am worthless now.”

If it were possible, Glorfindel held Erestor closer. “Your worth to Elrond is not because you can read and write, my dear friend. Your counsel is invaluable to him, and that will not change. Elrond can get scribes and assistants to help you, but no one can replace your knowledge and wisdom. I promise you, it will be all right. Your worth is without measure.”

“I suppose that would work, if I had assistants to help me read and write,” Erestor admitted. “I know Elrond would never replace me if we can find a way to make it work.”

“You are Elrond’s dearest friend and confidant, Erestor,” Glorfindel said. “Of course he would never replace you.”

“I will miss reading though,” Erestor whispered dejectedly.

“Then I will read to you whatever and whenever you would like,” Glorfindel answered.

“You would do that for me?” 

Glorfindel nodded against the dark head under his chin. “Of course I will.”

“We can still play chess, can’t we?” Erestor asked, brightening suddenly. “I can see the board in my mind and tell you my moves!”

“We will still play chess and you will still beat me at it every night,” Glorfindel answered. “And we will still spar together. Do not think just because you cannot see that you will get out of it. We have sparred often enough together blindfolded. It will just be like that.”

Erestor nodded. Perhaps he could accept his blindness and life would not be too bad.

“What is your second great fear?” Glorfindel asked.

Erestor grew solemn again. “I am afraid of being alone…in the dark…and not knowing where I am or where to go,” he whispered so quietly that Glorfindel had to strain to hear him. “I feel rather like a lost little Elfling who does not know where his parents are. The dark is so deep, so…black. I know that once we are back in Imladris that everyone will help me. The servants will probably be fawning over me and checking me every two minutes and driving me crazy. I do not even fear the loss of my independence - I am not too proud to accept that I will need help and that there will be times I lose my way or do clumsy things or have someone tell me that I am wearing my clothes inside out. I do not think that will bother me greatly. I just have this fear that I cannot really put into words. There is no candle I can light or lamp I can kindle to remove this night. There is no moon or stars or even the warm sun shining on me that can take it away. No matter what I do, I will still be alone in this darkness.” Erestor shook in the arms of his friend.

Glorfindel gently rolled Erestor onto his other side until they were face to face. “You do not have to hide it from me, Erestor. You can let it out. You are safe with me,” he said gently.

And Erestor did. Safe with his friend, the little lost Elfling sobbed out his fears, his tears falling on the soft cotton of their nightgowns to mingle with the tears that slipped silently from Glorfindel’s eyes. He cried for the loss of the sun, the moon, the stars, and all the beauty of Arda. He cried for the loss of the written word, and the loss of the joy in seeing a smile on a friend’s face. He cried for the loss of his sight and the loss of his world.

When there were no more tears, Glorfindel whispered, “Let me be your light, Erestor. For so long we have each danced around our feelings for each other, each of us afraid to say anything or even admit it to ourselves for fear of destroying our friendship. I am no longer afraid. The only thing I fear now is losing you. I swear if you will have me, you will never be alone in the dark because I will be there with you. I love you, Erestor, and I know in my heart that you love me too. Shall we finally put aside our childish ways? Will you have me?”

“You love me, even though I cannot see?” Erestor asked. “You want me?”

“You silly Elf,” Glorfindel said teasingly. “I do not care if you are blind or lame or have three feet and green hair. I will always love you, Erestor. I mean it, you know. Blind or sighted, I want you beside me always. Do not misunderstand me, my dear friend. I want you as my mate – my husband. So will you marry me, Erestor?”

Erestor released one final sob and wrapped his arms around Glorfindel. “I will,” he whispered. “I love you, Glorfindel. I always have, you know. Yes, I will marry you, dearest friend, if you are sure you really want me.”

“I am sure I really want you, Erestor,” Glorfindel answered softly. He placed one chaste, perfect, soft, sweet kiss on Erestor’s mouth. “So rest your heart, my love, and rest your mind. Sleep. Sleep in my arms, and I will keep you from the dark.” 

For one brief moment, Erestor thought he must have lost his mind along with his sight, but soft lips kissed him again and he could feel strong arms holding him. A smile crept onto his face. With Glorfindel at his side he could face the darkness. “I love you, Glorfindel,” he whispered earnestly, and then settled down to sleep. 

In the morning, they joined the family and the twins around the dining room table for a very large breakfast of hot porridge, fruit, toasted bread made over the fire with butter and preserves, eggs and bacon. 

Mistress Alice Tanner was a petite, soft-spoken, kindhearted woman, and just plump enough to be comfortable. A few strands of grey highlighted her dark hair. She took having four additional mouths to feed in her stride, being used to preparing extra food for those in the town who were in need. If the mistress of a house fell ill, she was sure to hear of it and gather the other matrons in town to join her in feeding the family. Homeless waifs knew they could always get a meal at her door and a warm, safe place to sleep, bedded down with the animals in the family’s barn without anyone bothering them. She welcomed the Elves graciously and bustled around making sure everyone had enough to eat and wanted for nothing. She was also no fool and knew full well that they owed much of their prosperity to her husband’s trade with the Elves. 

She served Erestor his meal, telling him what was on his plate and where everything was without even thinking about it, for she had been long accustomed to helping her mother-in-law. When the Elves thanked her, she waved it off, saying, “I am thrilled to pieces to have you with us, you know. My Bob has talked so much about all you Elves and how wonderful Rivendell is and now I finally get to meet you for myself! It’s no trouble a’ tall to have four extra, and you are all so kind to Bob when he’s with you.”

When the meal was over and all of the dishes had been cleared away to the kitchen by Alice and the children, Robert stood and said, “Now, Master Erestor, I have my old Ma’s walking stick I made years ago for her, if you’d like to try it out.” He took the stick from where it lay on the mantle. It was long and very lightweight. Placing it in Erestor’s hand, he said, “Feel it. Feel how light and flexible it is. It’s not for bearing your weight – it’s for you to ‘see’ with. Let the stick be your eyes. When you are ready, stand up and I’ll show you.”

Erestor felt along the stick, closely watched by Glorfindel and the twins, noting its smoothness and how finely tapered it was. At its tip was a metal cap. Taking a deep breath, he stood and said, “I am ready, Robert.”

The tanner stood beside Erestor and said, “At the top is a leather loop. Place it through your wrist and hold the top of the stick in your hand. When Erestor had done so, he covered the Elf’s hand with his own. “Now, hold the stick out in front of you and tap the floor with it in a big arc.” Guiding Erestor’s hand, he moved the stick in front of him back and forth, tap, tap, tap. “Now take a step.” Tap, tap, tap went the stick, back and forth. “Another step.” Tap, tap, tap, forth and back. Robert guided Erestor until they came to a chair and the stick encountered the object. “Now, what is that, Master Erestor? Move the stick. Feel it. See where the stick goes and where it stops. Move it up and across. What is it?”

Erestor moved the stick up and down the object, feeling out the space under it, the seat and the high back. “It is a chair!” he exclaimed.

“Very good,” said Robert. He motioned to Glorfindel to move a couple of logs from next to the hearth and set them out on the floor, and then guided Erestor in their direction. When the stick hit the logs, he said, “Feel it out with the stick. “What is it?”

Erestor moved the stick around the logs, feeling out their height and length. “It’s not books – the shape is wrong. There is no opening at the bottom, so it’s not a footstool. Too low for that anyway. It feel like bricks, or logs for the fire.”

Glorfindel chuckled. “Right again.”

Erestor grinned.

“Now come this way, Master Erestor,” Robert said. “It’s real important for you to remember when you’re inside a house where there’s stairs or when you’re goin’ outside and there’s steps. Always move slow enough to feel the floor before you real good like. You don’t want to go tumbling down any stairs.” He guided Erestor to the doorway. Together, they felt out its shape, feeling the walls around it and the emptiness within the door frame. 

When they felt out the start of the stairs, Erestor reeled back, frightened of the drop, and Robert showed him how to move slowly when he felt the stick drop before him and feel for the wall with his hand and the steps with his feet. “Glorfindel,” Erestor called out. “Let me take your arm.” This was definitely not going to be as easy as going up the stairs was; it was downright scary. When Glorfindel stood beside him and placed Erestor’s free hand on his arm, the counselor whispered, “This. This frightens me. I can feel around a hole in the ground and work my way around it, but there is no way around this.” And there were so many stairs to descend in the Last Homely House.

“Give it time,” Glorfindel whispered. “We will go down the stairs very, very slowly and I will be right here to catch you if you fall. You are safe with me. Feel out each step with the stick and keep tapping the wall on the other side so you know where it is.” 

Slowly, they made their way down the stairs with Erestor feeling out each step, first with his stick and then with his foot. When they reached the bottom and he could feel there were no more steps, Erestor heaved a great sigh of relief. “I did it,” he whispered.

“You did indeed,” Glorfindel said. “We will keep practicing together, and one day you will be able to do it all on your own. I know you will.”

From the top of the stairs, Elladan and Elrohir applauded and called down, “Well done, Erestor!” 

Tbc…

Title: Seeing With the Heart (3/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 3

Robert and Tom left the others to open their shop and oversee the workers. For the rest, the morning was spent with Erestor working on honing his skills in walking, determining objects, and listening for movement. Elladan, Elrohir, Robert’s two youngest sons, and Glorfindel would move around the room silently as Erestor listened and walked to wherever they stood. The first several times he ran into a wall, but the counselor found that his hearing was gradually becoming more acute since he had to rely on it more. 

Erestor did not, however, have the nerve to try the stairs again. He knew now that he could do it if necessary, but it was not something he relished a repeat of. The thought of having Glorfindel carry him down the stairs when they left the tanner’s had crossed his mind more than once; the tanner’s staircase was steep and narrow and he had a fear of falling off into nothingness. Thankfully, most of the stairways in Imladris were built with banisters and had broader steps. Although his rooms, his office, and the other areas he spent most of his time in were all on the ground floor, if he had to use the stairs, he would feel more secure once he was home.

They worked steadily with Erestor, moving throughout the house for a good three hours, until Mistress Alice called for them to stop for a light repast of tea and rich biscuits with butter and preserves. Once they had eaten, Erestor was ordered to rest by Elladan for the couple of hours that remained before the mid-day meal. 

Erestor, now feeling comfortable around the tanner’s home and sure that Glorfindel would follow, walked confidently to the guest room, his stick tap-tap-tapping to the bed. He sat on the bed, removed his boots, and curled up for a well-deserved nap, happy with his progress. He felt the bed dip and strong arms once again held him close. Rolling over to face Glorfindel, he smiled, asking quietly, “Have you been ordered to rest too?”

Glorfindel chuckled softly. “Where you go, I go. I told you I would not leave you in the dark alone, Erestor. Not until you tell me you do not need me with you. I have been thinking about when we get home. Elrond will understand, and I will assign most of my duties to my second until your head is fully healed and you are ready to go about on your own.”

Erestor was amazed that Glorfindel planned on staying with him even once they were home, and the love in his heart for the golden warrior grew even stronger. He raised a hand and gently traced his fingers over Glorfindel’s face, finally settling them on the captain’s sweet lips. He leaned over to kiss Glorfindel softly. “I love you, Glorfindel. So very much,” he whispered. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me – for staying with me.”

“I love you, Erestor,” Glorfindel said. “And you do not have to thank me. Staying with you is no hardship for me. I would be miserable if I were not at your side.” He tucked Erestor’s head under his chin and bestowed a soft kiss on it. “I thought we would use your rooms. They are larger than mine, and more importantly, you know your own rooms best.”

“You are moving in with me?”

“Yes, of course I am.” Glorfindel paused, wondering if he was moving too fast, but he could hardly stay with Erestor if they didn’t share rooms. “That is all right, isn’t it?”

Erestor raised his head. Smiling, he drew Glorfindel’s head down for another kiss. When their lips parted, he whispered, “It is more than all right.”

Glorfindel caressed Erestor’s face with his hand and kissed his brow, wishing for more of the sweetest kisses he had ever known. But Erestor needed to rest, and as much as Glorfindel wanted to kiss him senseless, now was not the time. “How are your head and stomach feeling? Better?” He was well aware that the twins had given Erestor more herbal concoctions for the pain at breakfast and tea.

“My head is much better than yesterday,” Erestor replied. “The herbs Elladan and Elrohir have given me are helping, and I only have the nausea every once in a while now, but it passes quickly. I seem to be tiring more easily though. The injury seems to have sapped my strength and sometimes I feel weak.”

“Then rest for now, my heart, and heal. Sleep. I will be right here when you wake.” He lay awake while Erestor slept, watching over him protectively.

After Erestor and Glorfindel left, Elladan spoke to Alice. “Have you any chores to keep us busy, Mistress?” he asked. “My brother and I can hardly sit around doing nothing. We are both handy at many things, from cooking and carpentry to working a forge, and I am sure we have kept you from your regular tasks.”

Mistress Tanner thought for a moment. She wasn’t thrilled about giving her honored guests a job to do, but she understood they couldn’t just sit around twiddling their thumbs either. Robert had plenty of help with the tannery and the animals. The family’s prosperity allowed them to offer employment to many in the town. Her mind rapidly ran through the tasks at hand. There were those she usually hired help for, like the laundry; those she thought were altogether too dirty for these lovely Elves to sully themselves with, like cleaning the hearths; and those that were just plain women’s work, like making soap and putting up vegetables. The truth was, she often hired help for all of those tasks; the only things she usually kept exclusively for herself was the cooking for her family, which she loved. But then the Elves were just looking for things to keep them busy, so it didn’t really matter if they wanted to do some of the chores.

“Well now, let me see,” she finally said. “There’s plenty of hired help in the barn for the animals and in the tannery. How about if I just name off some regular chores like and you tell me if you fancy any of them? There’s water that has to be brought up in buckets from the well and the small barrels in the kitchen cleaned and fresh filled every day – my young Will usually does that and it better be where he’s gone off to. There’s always firewood that has to be chopped and brought in the house and stacked by the fireplaces, which John should be starting on. The fireplaces in all of the rooms need to be tended to as well. I made soap yesterday that’s out back and has to be cut up into pieces. Then there’s the regular housework I usually do every day – dusting and sweeping and scrubbing the floors that need it. I’ve been baking this morning, and the vegetables still need to be cleaned and cut up for lunch and supper. I’ll make us some peach pies for supper if you want to peel and cut up peaches.” She stopped for a breath. “My, I have run on, haven’t I?”

The twins laughed and rolled up their shirtsleeves. “I will take the cleaning today,” Elladan said. “You help in the kitchen, ‘Rohir. Tomorrow we switch places.”

“You have a bargain, brother,” Elrohir replied. “When Erestor wakes up, Glorfindel will make short work of the firewood.” He bowed to Alice. “Show me to your vegetables, Mistress Tanner.”

The Elves worked quickly, and Alice wished all of her help were as efficient. When Erestor and Glorfindel woke and joined them again, they stopped for a lunch of fresh bread and a thick beef soup. Robert and Tom closed the shop and came to have the midday meal with them too. 

After lunch, and checking on their well cared for horses, Glorfindel did indeed make short work of many days’ worth of firewood, while Erestor sat in the kitchen with Elrohir and Alice, shelling a great bowl of peas and chatting with them about nothing and everything as they worked. The baking bread and pies, simmering soup, and roasting beef filled the air with tantalizing aromas. The two youngest Tanners ran in and out of the house as they did their chores, and when they stopped for afternoon tea, John carried a fresh brewed pot of tea and a plate of biscuits hot from the oven down to the shop for his father and brother.

Erestor grew fatigued again and felt a little queasy after his tea and biscuits, so Elladan fixed him more herb tea to calm his stomach and sent him to bed to rest, accompanied by Glorfindel. 

Once the elder Elves had left the dining room, Elrohir said, “I worry about him traveling, ‘Adan. He is doing a good job of hiding his discomfort, but he is far from well. I suspect the head injury will be giving him headaches and nausea for some time.”

Elladan nodded. “I have been thinking the same. We will not be able to travel swiftly and will have to break our journey at least three times a day and allow him to rest for an hour or two each time. It will take us near a month to get home, even taking the road – too long of a journey for him.”

Alice paused in her clearing of the dining table. “Would it help if you had a wagon for Master Erestor? We’ve a small wagon, just long enough for him to lie down in, that my Bob isn’t using since he got the bigger one. Two of your horses could pull it easily. He could lie down or sit up front with the driver as he pleases then, and he’d have a good bed to sleep in at night. Would make it easier to for you to carry the meat and fruit I’ve been drying too, and you could take one of our tents to cover it with in case of rain. Bob can take an extra man with him the next time he goes to Rivendell and collect it.”

“Mistress Alice, you are a wonder,” Elrohir said, smiling. He kissed her cheek, which was closely followed by Elladan kissing the other. 

Alice tittered and blushed. “Oh, get on with you both,” she said, shooing them away. 

~~~*~~~

When Erestor woke and he and Glorfindel left the guest bedroom, Alice directed the twins and Glorfindel to the bathhouse behind the main building. Robert had built this structure after seeing the public baths in Rivendell. It was a brick building complete with its own hearth at one end for heating water and warming the room, while at the other end a natural stream ran below for a convenient water source. Inside were three large wooden bathtubs and shelves for towels and soap. Hanging curtains surrounded each tub and could be pulled around it for privacy. The floor was made of hand-crafted cobbled stone, and slanted inward toward the center of the room. When a large cork plug was removed from the tubs to empty them, the water ran down to a drain in the center of the floor to flow back into the earth. Many in the town thought Robert must have been touched in the head to build it – after all, who could possibly need to take a bath so often that they required a bathhouse? But the family loved it and it was typically used daily by one or all of them. 

Erestor sat and chatted with Alice while the others bathed. Once Glorfindel returned, the captain again assisted Erestor with his bath in the bedroom while Robert and his family cleaned up from their workday.

As the Elves joined the others in the dining room for supper, Robert announced, “I have something new to show you tonight, Master Erestor.”

Erestor looked towards Robert’s voice expectantly. “You have already been so kind and helpful to me, Robert. What have you to teach me tonight?”

“I think I can guess,” Glorfindel said, watching the food being brought in and placed on the table by Alice and Elrohir. Eating the eggs for breakfast this morning had been challenging for Erestor, but dinner included things like peas that would be even harder for a blind Elf to eat easily. “Would it be how Erestor is going to manage to eat this delectable looking meal?”

“It would,” Robert replied with a knowing smile. “But first something easy – a bowl of simple soup.” The master of the house ladled the steaming broth into bowls. “It is just a plain broth, barely thickened with a little potato, Master Erestor, so you can pick up your bowl and drink from it if it’s easier for you.”

Erestor had a few spoonfuls of the soup, and when it had cooled somewhat, did as Robert suggested, drinking from the bowl, careful not to spill any around his mouth. The soup was warm and satisfying, and tasted delicious. He considered asking if there was more since his stomach was feeling better, but he could smell the savory aromas and didn’t want to spoil his appetite for the rest of the meal. 

When the soup bowls were cleared away, Robert began to carve the large roast beef. Bowls of peas and potatoes and a plate of fresh sliced bread were passed around the table. “It’s nearly impossible to eat meat and things like little peas and cut up potatoes with a fork when you can’t see what you’re stabbing at,” the tanner began. “It’s better for someone to feed you than try to do that. My ma didn’t like for one of us to bother feeding her, so she came up with another. Lord Glorfindel, you take some pieces of this beef and put it between two slices of bread for Master Erestor. He can hold it in his hand to eat it and won’t have to be guessin’ where all the little cut up pieces are on his plate. You just need to watch in case any of the meat falls out of the bread.” 

“What a clever idea,” Glorfindel said, placing two large slices of the beef in between the pieces of bread. “Could he not could have had his egg in bread this morning too?” he asked.

“He could,” Robert replied with an easy smile, “but I wanted him to try and eat with it a fork. He did well, even though it’s hard to do.”

Alice took a small clean bowl and put peas and pieces of potato in it. “You put the vegetables in a bowl so they don’t go sliding around a plate,” she said, carefully placing the bowl in front of Erestor. “You can eat the vegetables with a fork or a spoon, Master Erestor, whichever you prefer. Try them both and see what you like the best.”

Erestor took a bite of the meat and bread and couldn’t help smiling as he chewed. It was delectable: the meat was tender and the fresh bread only added to its flavor. “Your mother was a very wise woman, Robert,” he said before he took another bite. He found he preferred to eat out of the bowl with a spoon, and he ate his peach pie dessert the same way. By the time the meal was finished, Erestor was sated and beginning to grow tired, undoubtedly helped along by two mugs of good, strong ale. He hadn’t eaten so much since he and Glorfindel had left the Grey Havens, but the food was every bit as good as that served up by the kitchens in Imladris and he had thoroughly enjoyed the meal.

After Alice and her sons quickly cleaned up, everyone settled in the parlor for an evening of singing and storytelling. Erestor lay comfortably on the sofa, his head on soft pillows, simply listening to the songs and the stories told by the twins of their travels, drowsy and content. Glorfindel sat beside him on the floor. The fire’s warmth spread throughout the room, and the crackling of the wood as it burned combined with the creaking of Alice’s rocking chair to lull Erestor to sleep. He caught himself beginning to doze and snapped awake once or twice before finally losing the battle.

Glorfindel heard Erestor’s breathing even out and knew the tired Elf had finally succumbed to slumber. So attuned was he to Erestor’s movements that he knew the counselor had been fighting to stay awake. Rising to his knees, he softly brushed dark hair out of Erestor’s face. With a gentle smile, he whispered, “I should take him to bed. His body is demanding rest and sleep so he can heal from his injury.” He carefully stood and then lifted Erestor up in his arms to carry him to the guest room.

Elladan and Elrohir bid the Tanners goodnight, heading off to the room they shared. Once the door was closed, Elrohir said softly, “They are so in love. Do you think they have told each other yet?”

Elladan nodded. “Yes, I think they finally admitted it to each other. They’ve always been close friends but they seem closer now – even more comfortable with each other. You saw the way Glorfindel has been looking at Erestor and how protective he’s been. If Erestor’s injury finally made them come to their senses about how they feel, then that’s a very good thing to have come out of it.”

“When Erestor was going down the stairs, it was Glorfindel he asked to help him – not one of us. He trusts Glorfindel implicitly. Father will be pleased,” Elrohir said, yawning. “He’d all but given up in despair that they would ever come to their senses.” He quickly shed his clothes and crawled into the bed. “Don’t forget – you work in the kitchen tomorrow. I hope you cleaned really well today so I don’t have much to do.”

Elladan chuckled and joined his brother in bed. “Good night, little brother.”

“’Night, ‘Adan.”

~~~*~~~

Glorfindel carefully undressed Erestor and managed to get the nightgown on him without the injured Elf waking. That in itself was remarkable, but Erestor’s injury was making him sleep often and deeply. It did not occur to him that it was also because Erestor truly trusted Glorfindel to keep him safe. 

He quickly shed his clothing and donned his own nightgown before sliding into bed beside Erestor, pulling him into his arms. Moonlight shone though the windows and illumined the sleeping Elf, adding silver highlights to the dark hair spread over the pillows. More than anything else at that moment, he wished he could taste Erestor’s sweet mouth with his own. Settling simply for a light, chaste kiss on Erestor’s lips, he held the Elf he loved close, listening to his steady breathing, until he too fell into reverie.

Tbc…

Title: Seeing With the Heart (4/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 4

The second full day with the tanner and his family passed much the same as the first, with Erestor spending most of the time resting or sleeping, the twins helping Mistress Alice with the housework and cooking, and Glorfindel attacking the ever-dwindling stack of logs and chopping them into firewood.

That evening after dinner, as the family and Elves sat in the parlor talking, Erestor suddenly turned toward the sound of the twins’ voices and asked, "How did you two come to be here? Is not Ellothien near the time of delivering your child, Elladan? And do you not miss your sons and Lonneth, Elrohir? You should not be away from them while they are so young! Why are you traveling now?"

"It is a good two months before our child will be born, Erestor," Elladan replied sheepishly.

"And Ellothien kicked him out because he was driving her crazy nagging at her not to work in the gardens," Elrohir added with a snicker. "She told him to cure his discontent by going on the last trip he would be able to take for a while, so Ada sent us here to collect the leather. My brother thinks his wife should be laying around doing nothing, not out digging and planting flowers. Lonneth told me to go with him and keep him out of trouble, knowing we would be gone but a few weeks. As much as I hated to leave my family, I know better than to go against my wife’s wishes."

Erestor chuckled. "You will never keep her out of the gardens, Elladan. You knew that before you married her – you fell in love with her the first time you saw her with grass stains on her dress and a smudge of dirt across her face. Nothing could match the beauty of your mother's gardens, but Ellothien's work comes very close and she loves it so. She is very intelligent, my friend, and she loves you more than even the blossoming flowers. She would do nothing to put your unborn child in danger. You should have trusted her."

Elladan sighed. “I wish you’d been there to advise me,” he said dejectedly. “But I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway – I would not even listen to Ada. I didn’t mean to upset her. It’s only because I worry about her.”

“I am sorry this trip took us away from home for so long,” Erestor said. He was sorry now that they had had to leave home at all – and for more than just Elladan’s sake.

"I reckon Berianir and Boronir have grown in the weeks that Erestor and I have been away," Glorfindel said. "I have missed them."

"They miss their Gwadors 'Fin and 'Restor," Elrohir replied with a smile. "Do not think they have forgotten you. They have grown so much. Berianir still adores his grandfather and would rather be with Ada than anyone, and Boronir still refuses to sleep unless one of us carries him through the gardens for a walk each night."

Erestor released a melancholy sigh. "I wish I could see them when we return. I imagine they are even more beautiful."

Glorfindel picked up one of Erestor's hands and rubbed the counselor's fingers. "You can 'see' them with these, Erestor. Your blindness will not matter to them. They will still love you."

Erestor just nodded.

“So what are you taking your wife home as a gift, Master Elladan?” Mistress Alice asked.

“A gift?” Elladan panicked and fumbled for words. “I need to bring her a gift?”

“Oh dear,” Robert and Erestor said at the same time.

“Oh, for Valar’s sake!” Glorfindel said dramatically, raising his arms and rolling his eyes. “Have we taught you nothing?! Of course you have to bring her a gift, you ninny!” He reached over and cuffed Elladan on the back of his head.

“But…the shops are closed for the night and we are leaving at dawn,” Elladan protested, rubbing his head. “Oh dear,” he sighed. “Now what will I do?”

Elrohir shrugged. “I don’t know, but you’re in big trouble, ‘Adan.”

“Some help you are,” Elladan said.

“What?” Elrohir responded. “I was smart enough to buy toys for the twins and a lovely jeweled brooch for Lonneth when we first got here. You were too busy checking out the local ale at The Prancing Pony!”

“A brooch?” Elladan queried hopefully. “You wouldn’t consider…?”

“Oh no, brother,” Elrohir said. “I know what’s expected of a husband.”

Elladan sighed dejectedly.

“Don’t you worry, Master Elladan,” Alice said, patting his shoulder. “My Bob has just the thing for your wife down in the shop. It’s my gift to you for all the help you’ve been to me the last two days, and you our guests an’ all. Tom, you run down there and bring up one of those long gardening aprons, one of the really soft ones. ”

“A gardening apron?” Erestor asked. “Made of leather? Will that not be too stiff for her to work in?”

“Not this one, Master Erestor,” Robert beamed proudly. “You just wait until you feel it. It’s a soft as butter and big enough to cover her dress so she won’t get grass stains on her good things.”

Tom returned in a few short minutes, bearing the folded up, tan-colored garment. Robert took the apron and placed it in Erestor’s hands. “Feel it,” he said.

Erestor ran his hands over the cloth. “It’s so soft and pliable!” he exclaimed. “However do you make it?”

“It’s made from the hide of a mountain goat antelope called a chamois,” the tanner replied. “Isn’t it lovely? The more you use it, the softer it gets.”

All of the Elves were amazed at the softness of the leather. The apron was constructed with a bib that covered the chest, and a long half-skirt that would cover the front and sides of Ellothien’s dress. On the skirt were pockets to hold little gardening tools. 

“It’s marvelous!” Elladan declared happily. “She will love this even better than a jewel! Mistress Alice, once again, you are a wonder!” He took Alice’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you. And thank you, Robert. It’s a beautiful piece of work.”

“You take that home with you, Master Elladan, and you just see if your wife isn’t willing to forgive you,” Alice said with a smile.

The Elves retired to bed earlier than the previous night, wanting to start out at dawn before most of the town was up and about. It was safer with the twins traveling with them, but Glorfindel still did not want to call undue attention to their party. Robert had told him that the town authorities had been notified about the ruffians and so far no one had questioned anything. Glorfindel wanted to keep it that way.

~~~*~~~

Dawn was just riding on the back of Bree Hill the following morning as the Elves readied to leave. The journey from the Grey Havens to Imladris was over seven hundred miles, and more than four hundred of those miles still lay before them. In the best weather, with no problems, it would take seventeen or eighteen days to reach home. They expected summer rains to lengthen the journey, even without any unforeseen difficulty. The leather the twins had purchased for their father was laid on the wagon bed, lightening the load for the two packhorses Elladan and Elrohir had brought, so they distributed the other supplies evenly between the two animals. 

“I know we could harness the packhorses to the wagon and let our mounts carry the rest of the supplies,” Glorfindel said, “but with Erestor riding in the wagon, I would feel more comfortable with Asfaloth and Dulinn pulling it. If anything happens, they will take care of him and get him to safety.” Asfaloth and Dulinn silently agreed, both animals sensing that Erestor was injured, and docilely allowed themselves to be harnessed. 

Erestor tapped with his stick along the side of the wagon until he came to his horse. While the others finished preparing the wagon, he quietly spoke to Dulinn, stroking his head and thanking him for pulling the wagon. The black stallion nuzzled his friend and master in the chest, whinnying softly. Once Asfaloth had been subjected to the same treatment, Erestor inspected the wagon with his stick, figuring out how he would climb onto it.

Over the leather on the wagon bed was laid a sturdy mattress, and over that were quilts and pillows for Erestor’s comfort, all compliments of Robert and Alice. They would stop only for brief periods to rest the horses during the first day, so it was important that the journey not cause the counselor any undue discomfort. Tall posts at each corner of the wagon would hold the canvas cover that could be put up to protect Erestor from inclement weather, but for now they held lanterns to light the way after nightfall. Glorfindel intended that they travel beyond the Forsaken Inn, one day’s journey east of Bree, before they stopped for the night. Even with the twins, he still worried about another attack. It was good the horses were well rested, for they would travel hard and swift the first day out of Bree. 

Glorfindel’s and Erestor’s weapons were placed in the wagon, along with skins of water, fresh peaches, dried apples and figs, a large round of cheese, a few loaves of bread, and dried meat. There was also a large sack of potatoes that would keep well during the journey and could be added to simple stews or serve as a meal if necessary. The dried fruit and meat they would save for rainy days when they couldn’t hunt and prepare their food. Alice had also baked plenty of small meat pies for their first day’s lunch and supper. 

When all was ready, the Elves one by one bid Robert and his family farewell with many thanks. When Erestor stood before the tanner and his wife, he said, “I do not know how to thank you, my friends. What you have done for me these past two days is without measure, but know that you have my eternal gratitude. You and your family will always be welcome in Rivendell, and should you ever need help of any kind, you have only to send word or come to us.”

“Perhaps when I next see you, you will be able to see me, Master Erestor,” Robert replied. “That will be thanks enough for me.”

“That is my hope, my friend,” Erestor said. “But only time will tell. Fare well, and may the Valar bless you both.”

“And you, Master Erestor,” Mistress Alice replied. “And you.”

Erestor turned and walked to the wagon, feeling his way with the stick, and climbed up in the front where he and Glorfindel would sit. When the captain joined him, and the twins mounted their horses, the Elves raised their hands in farewell as they began the long journey home.

The Tanner’s watched as their friends left, waving and calling their goodbyes until the Elves were no longer in sight. Alice raised her apron, wiping the tears from her eyes, and then turned to enter the house and continue her day’s work. It was only later when she tidied up the two rooms used by the Elves that she found the stacks of gold and silver coin left on the bedside tables. 

~~~*~~~

The Elves slipped out of the town, unremarked amongst the travelers and traders coming and going. When they had journeyed for close to two hours and were well away from the town, Glorfindel stopped the wagon and helped Erestor lie down comfortably in the back. As they started moving again, the captain began to softly sing.

Erestor would have much preferred to stay sitting next to Glorfindel, but he was tired again, his body demanding rest. He made himself comfortable in the quilts and prepared to sleep when he heard Glorfindel begin to sing. His mouth curved into a smile; Glorfindel was singing to let him know he was not alone in the dark. Feeling very loved, he drifted off to sleep.

Glorfindel sang. He hummed. He recited poetry. He talked to the horses. He talked to himself. He drove Elladan and Elrohir crazy for hours.

“Elladan,” Elrohir said, just as Glorfindel started in on a new song, “what has gotten into our good captain?”

“I have no idea,” Elladan replied too loudly, “but I am about to gag him!”

Glorfindel glared at the twins and looked over his shoulder to see that Erestor was peacefully sleeping. Motioning the younger Elves closer, he said, “I sing and talk so that Erestor knows that I am with him. He is in the dark. He cannot see us. He is alone. The sound of our voices reassures him that he is *not* alone. Do you understand?”

“Forgive me, Glorfindel,” Elladan said, his eyes filling with empathy as he looked at Erestor. “I did not realize…”

“I am sorry too,” Elrohir said quietly. “We did not think. Perhaps one of us can take over singing so you can rest your voice?”

“I would be most grateful if you would,” the captain said with a relieved sigh. 

“Elrohir,” the older twin said, “you stay with our friends. I will check the road ahead and find a good place for us to stop for lunch and rest the horses.”

Elrohir nodded and began to sing as Elladan rode off down the road.

A few miles down the road, Elladan waited by a grove of trees. A stream ran close by, and there was good grass for the horses. By the time the others arrived, he had started a fire to heat water for Erestor’s tea. The packhorses were unburdened, Asfaloth and Dulinn unharnessed, and the animals allowed to graze and drink freely for the short time they would be there. 

The Elves washed in the stream and ate their meal of meat pies and fresh peaches before once more setting off down the road, making sure to first refill the water skins. Seasons and weather made the availability of water unpredictable, and one could never be certain if a source would be there the second time one passed it. They would not stop again until they were beyond the Forsaken Inn and set up their camp for the night.

For most of the rest of the day, Erestor sat beside Glorfindel in the front of the wagon, the two of them quietly talking. They passed the Forsaken Inn as dusk fell, stopping shortly thereafter to kindle the lanterns on the wagon posts to help illumine their way. Elrohir had taken one lamp, riding on ahead to scout along the road and locate a suitable place to make camp for the night. When the others came upon him, he already had a warm fire going. 

“I do not think anyone will bother us tonight,” the younger twin said. “Men do not usually travel at night, and I heard and saw nothing farther ahead.”

Erestor sat on the wagon and listened for a few moments. “No, I do not hear the sounds of anyone moving. Only the four of us, our horses, and the wild animals out there – but there are none close.”

“You hear the wild animals?” Glorfindel asked as he jumped down from the wagon to help Erestor alight.

“I have noticed that my hearing continues to grow sharper,” Erestor said, feeling for the edge of the bench and putting his foot on the wagon step. “The sounds were more muffled during the day by the voice of the wagon and the horses.”

After their supper of more meat pies and peaches, the Elves sat around the fire talking quietly. Erestor sat next to Glorfindel, their thighs touching, holding the captain’s hand. He felt the need for closeness in the vast darkness surrounding him. “Are there stars out tonight?” he asked. “Does the moon shine on us?”

“Many are veiled behind clouds,” Glorfindel answered softly, “but I see the stars of Wilwarin (1), and the half moon peeks now and again through the shadowy night sky. Eärendil’s Silmaril shines brightly down on us, even through the clouds. We may see some rain tomorrow.”

“It is odd,” Elladan said quietly. “It always seems that Grandfather’s star shines brightest on us when Elrohir and I are away from home.”

“Your father used to say the same,” Erestor said. “It is as if he is watching over your travels, as I often told Elrond.” He sighed. “I miss seeing the stars and the moon.” He moved Glorfindel’s hand and said, “Show me where Eärendil is.”

Glorfindel lifted Erestor’s hand and pointed it toward the star. Erestor raised his sightless eyes to the heavens and whispered, “Hail, bright Mariner. I thank you for watching over our journey. Oh Exalted Lady of the Stars (2), I would dearly love to see your beautiful creations again. Please whisper a word in Manwë’s ear on my behalf, dear Lady.” He bowed his head and quietly wiped away the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he said, “I am tired. Perhaps it is time for me to rest again.”

The younger Elves looked at Erestor with compassion in their eyes, but Glorfindel moved to take the blind Elf in his arms, holding him close, slowly rubbing a hand along his back. No words were spoken; none were needed, but each of the Elves said their own silent prayer to the Lady of the Stars. 

After a few moments, the Elves rose, preparing to bed down for the night. Elladan and Elrohir laid their bedrolls by the fire; they would take turns keeping watch. Erestor would sleep on the wagon bed with Glorfindel beside him. The weather was fair, and there was no need for the wagon cover or the twins’ tent. 

Once they were settled comfortably in the wagon, Glorfindel held Erestor in his arms and whispered, “Sleep well, beloved. You did not rest this afternoon. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I do think we will see rain.”

“It will rain,” Erestor said. “I can feel it in the air – smell it on the breeze.” He wound his arms around Glorfindel. “I would be lost without you. I love you so much, and now…now, I do not think I could live without you. Not because of my blindness, but because you return my love,” he whispered. “Once my friend, now finally my lover. Tell me, my love, what do you see when you look into my eyes?”

Glorfindel moved a hand to Erestor’s face and carefully traced its contours. “I can see my forever in your eyes,” he answered. Moving closer, he pressed his lips against Erestor’s in a gentle kiss. This was the Elf he would love until the end of Arda and all the stars went out. He felt the softness of those tender lips and sighed against them, but then they parted in welcome. Deepening the kiss, his tongue slid against Erestor’s, tasting and caressing, as sparks of lightening flashed through his body and stole his very breath away.

Erestor gasped into the mouth that kissed him so slowly and tenderly, his tongue curling around its mate. Nothing in his long life had ever made him feel as good as being in Glorfindel’s arms and sharing this kiss. He was filled with a sense of belonging, of security and rightness. This…this was home. Glorfindel was his home. It was where he wanted to be – forever. 

When the slow kiss finally ended, both Elves panted softly. “Sleep,” Glorfindel whispered. “Rest, my heart. Rest and heal, and know that I love you more than all the stars in the heavens.”

“I love you, Glorfindel,” Erestor whispered in reply. After placing a soft kiss against his lover’s lips, he laid back to sleep.

Glorfindel held his beloved in his arms, but in a few moments, Erestor turned, seeking another position. A few short minutes later, Erestor moved again, and then again…and again. After long minutes of Erestor tossing and turning, Glorfindel said, “What is it, love? Can you not sleep?”

“The sounds, Glorfindel - I cannot sleep with all these sounds,” Erestor said. “They make me uneasy and I cannot shut them out.”

“What sounds, love? Tell me what it is you hear?”

“The insects chirping…Elladan pacing and humming to himself as he keeps watch…the wind rustling the leaves in the trees…the crackling of the fire…the creaking of the wagon…the horses moving around...the very settling of the earth.”

Glorfindel realized that Erestor’s more sensitive hearing was picking up every little sound that a normal Elf would overlook. Erestor was not used to all of the night sounds out in the open countryside, and the cacophony of noise was unnerving him. A thought quickly occurred to him. “Erestor,” he said softly, “lay your head on my chest, over my heart.” Once Erestor had done so, he asked, “What do you hear?” 

“I hear the steady beating of your heart, like a soft drum,” Erestor whispered.

“What else do you hear?”

“I hear your breathing,” Erestor said.

“Listen to my heart, my love,” Glorfindel whispered very softly. “Listen to my breathing. Listen to my heart beating…over and over…beating just for you…over and over…” 

His voice trailed off as Erestor slipped into an exhausted sleep.

Tbc…

Lonneth: Narrows; channel; strait: Sindarin for Kyla  
Berianir: Defender of men: Sindarin for Alasdair  
Boronir: Steadfast: Sindarin for Alleyne  
Ellothien: Flower: A Sindarin name for a special gardener

(1) Wilwarin: The constellation created by Varda for the coming of the Elves. Probably our modern-day constellation of Cassiopeia.  
(2) The Lady of the Stars: Varda, also called Elbereth (‘Star-Queen’), Gilthoniel, Elentári, Tintallë, The Exalted and The Lofty. She is the most beautiful of the Valier, for the light of Ilúvatar shines in her face. She is married to Manwë and dwells with him upon Taniquetil. She is also the Valier held in the highest reverence by the elves. When she is with Manwë, she has the ability to hear every voice in Middle-earth. Varda gathered the dews and rain from the Trees of Valinor and created wells of water and light. She used the dew to create new stars that would light the way for the coming of the First-born. These stars were the first things seen by the First-born, and this is why they revere Varda above the other Great Ones.

 

Title: Seeing With the Heart (5/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 5

The next day dawned chill and breezy, with a hint of coming rain in the air. After a hurried breakfast of bread and cheese, the Elves set out down the road once again. There would be no adequate place for shelter from the rain until they crossed the River Hoarwell at the Last Bridge, still many days away. First they had to skirt around the Midgewater Marshes and then go by Weathertop, Amon Sûl.(3) If the rain became heavy, they would simply draw the wagon and horses off the road and wait out the storm under the protection of the wagon cover. 

It was nearing mid-day when a brisk wind and darkening clouds signaled the rain was coming, so they moved off of the road to grassy ground, unharnessed Asfaloth and Dulinn, and drew the canvas cover over the wagon. Elladan and Elrohir’s tent was set up as shelter for the horses, one side fastened to the wagon and the other tied to the tents poles. Glorfindel quickly scoured the landscape for all of the scrub and kindling he could find that was usable for a fire, and placed the fuel under the wagon to keep it dry. From before the Forsaken Inn to the Last Bridge, the land was desolate and home to only stunted trees and brush, affording scant fuel for fire.

The downpour fell around them for just an hour or two as the Elves huddled together in their cramped wagon space. Erestor rested against Glorfindel, and the captain wrapped his arms around his love.

“It would seem that your relationship has changed a bit,” Elrohir said with a smile, seeing Erestor rest his head on Glorfindel’s chest. “Elladan and I are happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Glorfindel said with an answering smile, holding Erestor tighter. “It was time we stopped dancing around each other and admitted our feelings for each other.”

“At least something good came out of my blindness,” Erestor said softly. “I don’t think we would have had the nerve to change anything if it wasn’t for my injury. We were both too afraid of ruining our friendship.”

“Silly Elves,” Elladan teased.

“Look who’s talking,” Elrohir quipped back. 

The storm passed to the west, much to the travelers’ relief. The horses were released from their shelter and allowed to graze and drink from the many pools of water that had formed from the rain. Glorfindel retrieved the dry fuel from under the wagon and soon a cheerful fire blazed. Hot tea brightened their dampened spirits. As they ate a simple meal of fruit, cheese and bread while sitting in the wagon, the captain said, “We would be wise to hunt for fresh game before tonight and save the dried provisions we carry. A few rabbits or fowl would make a good supper and breakfast for tomorrow. There are usually birds in abundance around here, so near to the Marshes.”

“The road will be muddy and slow us down for the rest of the day,” Elrohir said. “We should find a good place to camp and stop earlier so the horses do not become over tired.”

“I agree. I will ride ahead soon to hunt and find a source of clean water,” Elladan said. “I am sure I can manage to bring down a duck or two. If we roast some of the potatoes tonight we can have them for lunch tomorrow with the fruit, and we should be able to find some roots and greens this time of year for a nice stew tonight.”

“Stew sounds lovely. I just wish I could help. I feel so…useless,” Erestor said sadly. “I am sorry I am making more work for you all, especially when you two young ones should be hurrying home to your loved ones.”

“Erestor, for how many years did you help Elrohir and me?” Elladan asked. “Let us do this for you. You have nothing to feel sorry for. It pleases us to be able to help you.”

“And by the grace of the Valar, you will see again,” Elrohir added. “Erestor, do you not know how dear you are to us? To all of us? Sighted or blind, we love you the same. We would choose to be nowhere else but here at your side, and if we left you and hurried home, our wives would send us right back to you.”

“Thank you,” Erestor whispered. The twins’ words made him too emotional and he knew it was a sign that he was overly tired again. He longed to lie down and sleep. Blinking back the tears that threatened, he said, “I am sorry, but I am so very tired.” 

“It is time for us to get moving again anyway,” Elrohir said. “Is your head hurting again? Any nausea?”

“No, I am fine,” Erestor responded. “I am just tired.”

The twins quickly left the wagon to extinguish the fire and gather the horses, leaving Erestor the room to stretch out on the mattress. Glorfindel covered his weary love and tucked the quilts around him. “Would you like me to stay with you until you fall asleep, dear one?” he asked softly. 

Erestor shook his head. “Go and help the twins,” he replied. “I will be able to hear you until I fall asleep.” He reached up a hand to caress Glorfindel’s face. “I love you so very much,” he whispered. 

Glorfindel leaned over and kissed Erestor, a slow, unhurried kiss, full of love and tenderness. “I love you, Erestor, more than the stars. Sleep, dear one. I will be near and hear you if you call.

That night they dined on a succulent stew made of duck and the roots and herbs the twins had gathered on the way. The counselor asked about the sky and the stars, and when they slept, Erestor laid his head on Glorfindel’s chest and listened to the steady heartbeat and calming breathing, blocking out the unsettling sounds. 

In the days that followed, they passed the Midgewater Marshes, blessedly far enough away to avoid its voracious bugs; Amon Sûl; and the desolation of the Lone Lands. They stopped where they found good water to bathe and refill their skins, hunting animals and harvesting wild plants to supplement their food supplies. Each evening Erestor asked about the stars, and each night he rested his head on Glorfindel’s chest and listened to the rhythmic meter. Fourteen days into the journey, they reached the Last Bridge, crossed the River Hoarwell, and passed into the forested Angle of Rhudaur. (4) On the morning of the eighteenth day since they set out from Bree, they crossed the Ford of Bruinen into Imladris, less than a day’s ride to the Last Homely House. 

They were finally home.

After the sentries greeted the small party, Erestor turned towards the twins and said, “Ride on ahead – your family is waiting for you and you must be anxious to get home. We are in our own lands now and the guards will keep an eye on us. Tell your father what happened; it will make our arrival easier and avoid an hour of questions.”

Glorfindel nodded to the twins, and after hurried goodbyes, the two younger Elves hastened away.

“Brilliant, my love,” Glorfindel said softly. “Let them answer all of Elrond’s questions instead of us.”

“There is a reason I am chief counselor,” Erestor said with a chuckle. “Elrond is sure to be upset and is going to be worse than a mother hen.”

“That he will,” Glorfindel agreed. “I suppose there’s no chance of getting you all to myself tonight, more’s the pity. Well, at least we have some hours alone together before we reach the house.”

“Just us, all alone in the woods,” Erestor said dreamily, wrapping his arm around Glorfindel’s waist and resting his head on the captain’s shoulder. “Just us and a few score hidden sentries gawking down at us from the trees.”

Glorfindel’s laughter rang out through the valley.

~~~*~~~  
The bell toll announcing the return of residents of the valley rang out from the last sentry post as Elladan and Elrohir passed. By the time they reached the courtyard of the Last Homely House, their family and other Elves of the house stood waiting. 

The twins quickly dismounted and turned their horses over to the waiting stable hands who would see that their saddle packs were delivered to the house. After they kissed their wives and the little twins, who finally stopped squealing at the sight of their father and uncle, Elrond embraced his sons and said, “Where are the packhorses? Did something untoward happen?”

“They are coming more slowly with the wagon that carries Glorfindel and Erestor,” Elladan said, his arm around the heavily pregnant Ellothien’s waist. 

Elrond raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps you had better explain quickly, my son. You met them on the road? Why are Glorfindel and Erestor in a wagon, and what wagon?”

“Ada,” Elladan said carefully, “there is no easy way to say this. Glorfindel and Erestor were attacked on the road on the way to Bree from the Havens. Erestor was struck on the head and suffered a concussion. He has lost his eyesight, Ada. Erestor is blind.”

“Blind?” Elrond whispered incredulously. “Erestor is blind?”

“Robert the tanner and his family aided us greatly and loaned us a wagon for the journey,” Elrohir said. “Neither Elladan nor I can tell if his blindness is permanent. We hope you will be able to tell more.”

“And you left Erestor alone out there?” Ellothien asked, most displeased with her husband and law-brother. “How could you ride ahead and leave him alone?” 

“He is hardly alone with Glorfindel, love; they are surrounded by our sentries. We did not leave them from the time we left Bree until we were within our borders. Ellothien, Ada, all of you, listen to me,” Elladan said, encompassing all of the Elves who had moved closer upon hearing about the chief counselor. “Do not dare to treat Erestor any different than you have before. He is managing very well with his blindness, but I swear to you, if any one of you makes him feel useless, you will answer to my brother and me! He needs us to be his eyes only, not to do everything for him. He is not lame, he is not deaf, and he is certainly not incapable. Ask him if he needs help, but do not take over for him unless he requests it. Do you understand me?”

“And woe betide you if you try to lead him around anywhere!” Elrohir added. 

“I am riding out to meet them,” Elrond said determinedly. His mind was still reeling from the shock of learning that his dear friend, confidant, and counselor was blind.

“Ada, do not,” Elladan said. “Erestor’s injury happened twenty-one days ago. He is healing and has improved greatly on the journey here. He rarely has headaches anymore and does not tire as he did at first. I know you are anxious for him, but after so long a few hours more will not matter.”

Elrond practically growled at his eldest son.

“Elladan is right, Ada,” Elrohir said. “You should also know that Glorfindel and Erestor’s relationship has changed. It will be good for them to have the time alone together. Erestor sent us on ahead for a reason. I believe he needs this time to prepare himself for his arrival home.”

Elrond sighed, frustrated, but then nodded in agreement. “So, tell me about this new relationship between my counselor and captain,” he said.

Elrohir grinned as they began to walk into the house. “I think there will be a spare room in the family wing opening up very soon that will solve the problem of the limited space for the children.”

It was early evening when the family was once again called to the courtyard by the tolling bells. The Elflings bounced in their parents’ arms, calling out to their Gwadors Fin and Restor. Elrond moved to help Erestor alight from the wagon, looking at his unseeing eyes, when Elladan held him back.

“Don’t, Ada,” Elladan whispered when Elrond looked at him questioningly. “Let him do it. He has managed it for eighteen days on the road. If he needs help, he will ask for it.”

Elrond nodded and watched as Erestor carefully maneuvered out of the wagon, taking Glorfindel’s arm to steady himself. When the counselor was on the ground, Elrond approached. “Erestor, my dear friend,” he said quietly, embracing his old companion. “Welcome home. I have missed you and Glorfindel greatly.”

“It is good to be home,” Erestor said with relief in his voice, returning the embrace. It *was* good to be home again. This was where he knew his way around blindfolded and felt most comfortable and secure.

“After you have greeted the others I want to examine you,” Elrond said, releasing Erestor and clasping Glorfindel’s arm in welcome. He nodded to the captain, conveying so much with his look – relief to have them safely home again, gratitude for Glorfindel’s care of their friend, worry for Erestor – and then took his chief counselor’s arm and began to lead him to the Elves waiting on the house steps. “We can wait until tomorrow to discuss the results of your mission to the Havens.”

“Your pardon, Elrond.” Glorfindel stopped them and removed his lord’s hand from Erestor’s arm. Placing Erestor’s hand on Elrond’s arm instead, he said, “Never pull him along. Erestor has a deadly aim with that stick of his.”

“As if I would ever strike Elrond,” Erestor muttered. “I would just give him a gentle… tap.”

Elrond snorted and walked slowly, allowing the counselor to set the pace, understanding now what Elrohir had said about trying to lead Erestor anywhere. Erestor’s stick tap-tapped in front of them and Elrond nodded approvingly.

They greeted the rest of the family, and while Glorfindel held the excited Elflings, Erestor was nearly smothered in a dual embrace from Ellothien and Lonneth. Finally, the counselor held Boronir in his arms. The Elfling patted Erestor’s face before placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek and said, “Daurada Elwond fix you, Gwadow Westor. You home now. Daurada make it all betta.” 

Berianir leaned away from Glorfindel toward Erestor and held out his arms. “You hold me now, Gwadow Westor,” he said. “You see me now.”

Erestor shifted Boronir to hold him on one hip and held his other arm out for Berianir.

Elrohir had tried to explain to his sons that their Gwador Erestor was hurt and couldn’t see them with his eyes, but he hadn’t been sure they understood. It was difficult to explain to ones so young that Erestor needed to touch them in order to ‘see’ them. Clearly, they did understand, Elrohir realized proudly. It was quite normal for Elflings to both walk and talk by one year old. Although his sons were not quite that old or walking on their own yet, their ability to speak was developing early. It seemed that their ability to comprehend difficult concepts was also developing early. 

When the Elflings were back in their parents’ arms, a slender Elf stepped up to Erestor and said, “Master Erestor, it is I, Melpomaen. Welcome home.” 

Erestor smiled and reached out to feel where Melpomaen stood before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, my friend. I will need your help more than ever now. You must be my eyes when we work.”

Melpomaen placed his hand over Erestor’s and squeezed it gently. He was the chief counselor’s assistant and friend, and loved and respected Erestor like an older brother. “I will gladly be your eyes, and anything else you need of me. You have only to tell me what to do.”

“Thank you, Mel,” Erestor said gratefully. He had known in his heart that Melpomaen would support him, but it was a relief to actually hear his friend say the words. 

After greeting the rest of the assembled Elves and entering the house, Erestor wanted nothing more than the privacy of his own rooms with Glorfindel, but Elrond still insisted on examining him.

“Go along to your rooms, Erestor,” Elrond said. “I have just remembered something and I must gather a few things from the healing rooms. I will meet you in your rooms very shortly.”

“I don’t suppose I could convince you to wait until tomorrow morning, could I?” Erestor asked. “Oh, don’t bother to answer that. I felt the breeze from you raising your eyebrow,” he jested. “Just hurry… there is a bath that is soon to be full of warm water calling my name.”

“I will not be long,” Elrond said with a smile, happy to see his friend’s normally good spirits were not dampened by his blindness. “The servants will be bringing your supper to your rooms and you can eat while you wait for me.” He hastened away.

“Are you sure you still want to share these rooms with me, Glorfindel?” Erestor asked a little reservedly as they reached his chambers and the door closed behind them. “I am doing much better now and I will understand if you would like your privacy.”

Glorfindel removed his cloak and dropped it in a chair. Drawing Erestor into his arms, he countered the question with one of his own. “Are you sure you still want me here?”

“Of course I do! Glorfindel, you know I love you. How could I not want you here with me?” Erestor said with fervor.

“Then don’t ask silly questions,” the captain whispered, his mouth descending to cover Erestor’s in a deeply passionate kiss.

Erestor moaned and wrapped his arms around Glorfindel’s neck just as a knock sounded at the door. He broke the kiss, groaning, and laid his head on his lover’s shoulder. “Who could that be?” he asked impatiently.

“The servants with our supper would be a good guess,” Glorfindel responded, rubbing Erestor’s back soothingly. “I will get it.” They were both looking forward to a nice soothing bath, but they were also both hungry.

While the servants set the table in Erestor’s sitting room for their meal, Glorfindel whispered to the counselor that he was going to fetch some clean clothing. His rooms were just next door, so it would take only a moment for him to dash there and grab some clothes and a few other necessities. He quickly returned empty-handed. “My clothing and things are missing from my room,” he said, confused.

One of the servants looked up. “We moved your clothing and personal things into Master Erestor’s bedroom this afternoon on Lord Elrond’s instructions,” he said. “We left the items in your sitting room, as Lord Elrond said you would let us know later where you wanted things. I hope that was right, my lord?”

Glorfindel smiled at the servant. “That is just right,” he said. “My thanks.”

The servants finished laying out the meal and left. Glorfindel helped Erestor sit at the table, noticing that there was an extra bowl for the counselor. No doubt one of the twins had given instructions for it. 

The two Elves made short work of their meal. After days of wild roots and game, the food tasted like a feast. They were just finishing when a knock sounded at the door and Elrond’s voice called out that it was he. 

Calling out for Elrond to enter, Erestor rose and carefully tapped his way with this stick to the sofa in his sitting room, Glorfindel at his side.

“I hope I did not keep you waiting,” Elrond said, entering the room, “but I needed to find these.” He waved the pieces of black cloth he held in his hand.

“Black scarves?” Glorfindel asked. “Whatever for?”

“For an idea I have,” Elrond responded, moving a footstool and seating himself on it in front of Erestor. His gentle hands roamed over Erestor’s head, assessing any swelling and pausing here and there to feel certain spots. “I can still feel some swelling on one side of your head,” he said. Taking up a lit candle, he held it in front of Erestor’s eyes and examined them closely. “Have you any headaches still?” he asked when he had finished.

“Occasionally – not often,” Erestor replied. “And before you ask, I no longer have any nausea and I usually only need to rest once in the middle of the day.” He paused and then, nearly afraid, asked, “Will my sight return, Elrond? Do you know?”

Elrond sat back and sighed. “I do not know for certain,” he said. “But I do not sense any great damage that has not healed and I can see no direct injury to your eyes. It is possible that the swelling is still causing your blindness.”

“That is what the twins both said,” Glorfindel said. “Is there anything we can do, Elrond?”

“Possibly,” Elrond answered. “Erestor, a long, long time ago, I knew a very wise and skilled healer. He told me something once that I had nearly forgotten. Sometimes, he said, a temporary blindness is brought about by something like a blow to the head that causes swelling inside the skull, but is worsened – prolonged – because the eyes are strained. Even though you cannot see, your eyes are constantly ‘trying’ to see. It doesn’t work because something, like the swelling, is blocking them, but they don’t know that. This old healer told me that in such cases it is important to totally rest the eyes so that they stop working so hard.”

“How do I do that?” Erestor asked breathlessly, hope in his voice. 

“By keeping your eyes closed and bandaged with these,” Elrond replied, placing the black scarves in Erestor’s hands for him to feel. “There are small pieces that are folded and placed over each closed eye, and a scarf to tie around your head to hold the small pads in place.”

“And this will… rest … my eyes?” Erestor asked.

“Yes,” the master healer replied. “You must keep your eyes covered as much as you can, Erestor. You may remove the bandages while you bathe and if they trouble your sleep, but other than that, keep them on.”

“For how long much I wear them?” the counselor asked.

“I am not certain,” Elrond said. “Each person is different and heals differently, but if this is going to work, I would expect to see some improvement within a month.”

Erestor nodded. “I will wear them.” Hope soared in his heart.

Tbc….

 

Daurada: Grandfather  
(3). Weathertop overlooks the Great East Road east of Bree, about midway between the Shire and Rivendell. The hill rises a thousand feet above the level lands round about, and was the site of a watchtower in the days of Arnor. The watchtower and fortifications were burned and destroyed in T.A. 1409, but the top is still flat and surrounded by a ring of stones. A path leads from the top northward, connecting to the other fortresses of the Weather Hills. The tower originally held one of the seven palantíri. The Tower of Amon Sûl is a watch-tower on Weathertop hill. It was once tall and fair, but by the end of the Third Age only ruins remained. The Tower of Amon Sûl was built in the first days of the North-kingdom of Arnor, which was founded in 3320 of the Second Age. At that time, the seven palantíri were divided and placed in different parts of Gondor and Arnor. The largest and most powerful palantír in the North was kept in the Tower of Amon Sûl. The Stone of Amon Sûl was the chief palantír used for communicating with Gondor. The palantír was kept on a round table of black marble with a curved depression in the surface where the seeing-stone was set. It was said that Elendil watched from the Tower of Amon Sûl for the arrival of Gil-galad before the Last Alliance set out to wage war against Sauron. (Wikipedia)  
(4). Rhudaur (Eastern Forest) was the most easterly of the three regions in Eriador, stretching from the Weather Hills with Weathertop (Amon Sûl) to the river Bruinen (Loudwater). It shared a long border with Cardolan along the Great East Road, and with Arthedain along the line of the Weather Hills. The land between the rivers Hoarwell and Bruinen was also considered part of Rhudaur. It was called the Angle, and it is here that the first Stoor Hobbits came into Eriador around T.A. 1150. However, due to the increasing hostility of Angmar these Stoors fled the region around T.A. 1356, with some of them moving west to the Shire, and others moving back to Wilderland. There is evidence that after the fall of Angmar at the Battle of Fornost the Angle became home to the remainder of the Dúnedain, and the Rangers of the North established several villages there, where their people lived until the resurrection of the northern Kingdom under King Elessar at the end of the Third Age. But northern Rhudaur remained wild and dangerous for the rest of that Age: Arador was slain here by hill-trolls in T.A. 2930, and his son Arathorn II fell in battle with Orcs in T.A. 2933. And in T.A. 2941, trolls captured the company of Thorin at the start of The Hobbit. (Wikipedia)

Title: Seeing With the Heart (6/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 6

Two pair of dusty leather leggings lay heaped on the floor of the bathroom atop equally travel-stained tunics and shirts. Elrond had finally left Erestor and Glorfindel to their own devices, but not before giving his blessing to the captain’s plan of staying with Erestor until the chief counselor was comfortable moving around the Last Homely House independently. That was to be accomplished slowly, since Erestor was ordered to spend the next few days resting before resuming his work. In addition to Melpomaen, a second assistant was being assigned to help with reading and writing for the counselor. 

Erestor sighed contently as Glorfindel’s fingers worked through his long hair. They were sitting in Erestor’s bathtub enjoying the warm water – and each other. The feel of those long fingers gently massaging his scalp was utterly divine. “How did I live for so long without ever feeling you do that?” he asked.

“Hmmm?” Glorfindel responded. “Do what?”

“Your fingers. My head.”

Glorfindel chuckled deep in his throat. Leaning his head down, he kissed Erestor’s neck, laving it with his tongue, and then with a groan, spat. 

“I taste that bad?” Erestor said, raising his eyebrows and wishing he could see Glorfindel’s face.

“You, my love, taste wonderfully. The soap, however, leaves much to be desired.” The captain spat again. 

Erestor laughed and turned around from his position between Glorfindel’s legs to wrap his arms around his lover’s neck and kiss him passionately. The fact that it took him two tries to find Glorfindel’s mouth bothered them not in the least. Up to that point they had managed to keep their touches chaste, neither one of them wanting to have their first experience of lovemaking in the bath. 

“You taste like soap,” Erestor said when the kiss finally ended. “We should have brought that bottle of wine in here with us. 

Glorfindel made a sound of agreement. “Turn around so I can rinse your hair and we can get out of here and find it, after which I intend to try and seduce you.”

“I doubt you will have to try very hard,” Erestor mumbled, turning in Glorfindel’s lap and closing his blind eyes tightly against the fresh water that was poured over his head.

When the bath was finished they sat before the fire in light robes, Glorfindel brushing Erestor’s hair to dry it before he helped the counselor put on his eye bandages. “I think it is dry enough now, love,” he finally said.

“Pity,” Erestor sighed. “I was enjoying that.”

Glorfindel chuckled. “If I’d known you liked your head touched so much, I would have been doing more of it.”

“I didn’t know I liked it so much either,” Erestor said, stretching languidly. “Do you have the bandages here?” he asked. He had been trying to keep his eyes closed ever since Elrond told him about resting his eyes, but it was difficult not to open them.

“I am just folding the small pieces to make the pads for your eyes,” Glorfindel responded. When the black pads were ready, he placed them in Erestor’s hands and said, “Hold these over your eyes with your fingers and I’ll tie the scarf.” Erestor held the thick pads against his closed eyes while the captain tied the strip of black silk around the counselor’s head to hold them in place. Sitting back, Glorfindel surveyed his handiwork. “You look mysterious now,” he teased. “You will silently glide through the corridors and passersby will whisper, ‘Who is that exotic Elf?’” 

Erestor chuckled. “More like they’ll say, ‘There goes poor old blind Erestor,’” the counselor quipped.

“They would not dare,” Glorfindel said, pulling Erestor closer to lie in his arms. His voice becoming softer, he asked, “What fears do you have that remain, love? You know that Elrond still wants you as his chief advisor, and I am with you in the darkness. Tell me what your next fears are and we will work through them together.”

Erestor thought for a moment and then said, “I still fear being alone and in danger. If my sight does not return, I do not ever want to leave this valley again, Glorfindel. At least here I know I am among Elves who care about me and will help me. I do not have to try and make a fire on my own and risk getting burnt. If I fall on the stairs, someone will come running to assist me. If I am hungry, someone will fix me food. I have no desire to kill myself in some stupid accident.”

“Are you sure there is not one more thing that you are afraid of?” Glorfindel asked carefully.

There was a long silence before Erestor finally spoke. “You are going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Glorfindel responded. “Tell me, and let us deal with it,” he said gently.

“You know what I most fear,” Erestor whispered. “I fear that you love me only out of your great compassion for my blindness, and you will eventually regret telling me.”

“Erestor, have you ever heard of an Elf who made a poor decision in choosing a mate? Have you ever heard of an Elf whose heart misspoke and told him to wed the wrong person?” Glorfindel asked.

Erestor thought. His life was long and there were a lot of Elves to recall prior to answering that question. “One or two,” he finally answered.

“One or two, in all your long millennia,” Glorfindel said. “Erestor, do you really think my heart lies to me when it tells me I love you? Do you really think I could be so deceived?” he asked softly.

Erestor shook his head. “No,” he said in a barely audible whisper. “My logical mind does not believe it. But my intellect wars with my emotions. I wish I could see your beautiful blue eyes, for then I would truly believe.” He wrapped his arms around Glorfindel and rested his head against the sturdy, broad chest. “Your eyes are so expressive and always shine with the truth. I regret most that I cannot see them.” He sighed and settled further against Glorfindel’s chest. “I love your eyes.”

“I love you, Erestor,” Glorfindel whispered, kissing the top of the dark head. “What can I do make you believe – to have you really know that I will always love only you?”

“I do not know,” Erestor said in a small voice.

Glorfindel rested his cheek on Erestor’s head and the two sat in comfortable silence for long minutes until the captain suddenly straightened. He knew what would convince the insecure counselor. “Erestor, will you bind with me – tonight?” he asked.

Erestor raised his head. “Tonight? Why would you ask me that, Glorfindel? I expected you would want a long betrothal. I want you to be sure of me. You cannot bind with me tonight.”

“Oh, Erestor, my silly love,” Glorfindel said, shaking his head. “For how many years have we known and loved each other as friends? Is it so hard for you to believe that my love has grown beyond that? You did not question like this the first night of your blindness when I told you I loved you and asked you to marry me – which you agreed to, I might remind you. What is making you so hesitant now?”

Erestor sighed and leaned against Glorfindel again. “I do not know. My emotions seem to have gotten all jumbled since we arrived home and Elrond told me I might see again. I do know I love you with all my heart, and I do believe you love me. I do want to marry you – it has always been my heart’s desire. I just want you to be sure. I don’t want you find out you loved me only as a friend and have to spend an eternity in misery with me.” 

Glorfindel was convinced that if Erestor could only see his eyes he would know, but that was impossible. He would just have to convince him in other ways. “I ‘am’ sure, beloved,” he whispered in one of Erestor’s shapely ears. “An eternity with you is exactly what I want, and I promise you, it will be an eternity of happiness and love.” His hands moved along Erestor’s back and shoulders sinuously, caressing the muscled flesh. “I do love you, Erestor, with all my heart and soul.”

Erestor parted Glorfindel’s robe and kissed the smooth skin of the captain’s chest before moving his mouth up to suck at the creamy throat. Sitting up, he shifted and wound his legs around Glorfindel’s waist and his arms around the broad shoulders. “Then promise me you will never leave me,” he said huskily. “I could not bear it if you did. Promise me you will be mine always.”

“I will be yours forever,” Glorfindel said, holding Erestor close to his chest. “Your friend, your mate, your lover, your husband, until the end of Arda, I promise you.”

Erestor pressed his lips against Glorfindel’s in a passionate kiss. When he finally lifted his head for a breath of air, he whispered. “I will be yours forever – your friend, your mate, your lover, your husband, until the end of Arda. I love you, Glorfindel, so much that sometimes it feels like I almost cannot bear it.”

“I know that feeling,” Glorfindel whispered. “I have felt it often with you.”

“Then take me to our bed,” Erestor said softly. “Bind with me. Love me.”

Glorfindel held on to Erestor tightly, rising first to his knees and then, with a grunt, to his feet, the counselor’s long legs still wrapped around his waist. 

“Show-off,” Erestor muttered.

“You get to do that next time,” Glorfindel replied, unable to suppress a grin and enormously pleased with himself that he’d been able to get up off the floor still holding Erestor. 

Taking the few steps to the bed, he laid Erestor on it, whispering, “What do you want, beloved?” 

“Just you,” Erestor whispered. “Whatever you wish, my love, but I would like to see you, with these,” he said, waggling his fingers.

“You wish to ‘see’ me?” Glorfindel asked. “I think that can be arranged.” He was already relishing the idea of Erestor’s long, slender fingers roaming over his body. Their light robes were quickly cast aside, and he lay on his side next to Erestor. Taking one of the counselor’s hands, he laid it over his heart. “You may explore as much as you would like, love.”

Erestor moved his hands and felt Glorfindel to determine how he was laying. Pushing the larger Elf flat on his back, he sat and placed his hands on Glorfindel’s face and neck. His fingers caressed the smooth, firm flesh and worked their way over the broad shoulders. Smooth, soft skin covered firm steel and Erestor could feel the powerful muscle and sinew beneath his fingertips. His hands moved slowly, feeling every ripple, every curve, testing which areas made Glorfindel inhale sharply and where his fingers made breathing stop altogether. His fingertips encountered soft nipples, caressing them until they were hard and pebbly. A small moan escaped the captain’s lips. Erestor knew he would return to these spots, pleased with the response he elicited, but now was the time for more exploration.

Several places along Glorfindel’s sides caused poorly suppressed giggles. Ah, the strong captain was also ticklish. The sites were stored away in Erestor’s mind for future reference. The counselor’s fingers danced down the strong torso, stopping to play where powerful thighs were joined. Soft touches along the long crease made Glorfindel utter pleased little noises and move his body into the touch. “You like it when I touch you there,” Erestor whispered.

“It is most…arousing,” Glorfindel said, his voice deep and resonant.

“Are you aroused, then?” Erestor asked softly. He had pointedly avoided Glorfindel’s groin, wanting to save that experience for the last. He was already greatly aroused himself, simply from touching his beloved. 

“Touch me, and you will know how aroused I am,” Glorfindel responded sultrily.

Erestor chuckled low in his chest. “Not yet,” he whispered, his fingers moving down firm, muscled legs to feet that felt surprisingly delicate despite their size. “I am not done ‘seeing’ you yet.” His fingertips floated across the bottom of the shapely feet and elicited a stifled giggle. Erestor grinned, repeating the motion. “You are ticklish.”

“Yes,” Glorfindel managed to snort out around another laugh, pulling his limbs away from Erestor’s wicked fingers to plant the bottom of his feet securely on the bed. “You have ‘seen’ my feet enough,” he said, the teasing tone of his voice softening the words. 

Erestor’s clever fingers moved back up and over the bent legs, creeping slowly, relentlessly toward Glorfindel’s member, prolonging the anticipation. Long digits finally claimed their prize, wrapping around the silk covered hardness. Erestor moved his hand slowly down the shaft and up again, spreading the creamy drops that already leaked from its tip. What he felt pleased him, and he dipped his head to languidly draw his tongue along the length.

Glorfindel sighed as Erestor’s fingers surrounded him, his head dropping back against the pillows as his body hummed in pleasure from his lover’s touch. At the brush of his lover’s tongue on his erection he groaned and pulled the counselor up into his arms, covering his body with Erestor’s and kissing him deeply. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than for Erestor to take him. He had intended to be the one doing the taking, but he suddenly realized it no longer mattered. This wasn’t about who took whom. It was about sharing yourself with your beloved in the most intimate of acts and the giving of pleasure. Making love was just that – loving. Dragging his lips away from the sweet mouth, he whispered into a shapely ear, “Erestor…love…take me.”

Erestor was stunned into silence, not quite sure if he had heard what he thought. “Glorfindel? Wh…what?” he stammered.

“I want you inside of me,” Glorfindel whispered, his mouth moving along Erestor’s elegantly curved neck. 

“I thought…are you sure?” Erestor finally asked, becoming even more aroused. The blood rushing to his groin was making his head spin. 

“I am very sure,” Glorfindel said, his hands stroking along Erestor’s back. 

“Will you help me?” Erestor whispered.

“Always,” Glorfindel answered. “Always.”

It was only a matter of minutes before Erestor was seated with his back to the headboard, the black eye bandages were lying on the bedside table, and Glorfindel was lowering himself onto the counselor. When they were fully joined, the captain rested, his head on Erestor’s shoulder, allowing his body to adjust to the feel of his lover within him.

Erestor gasped as he felt tight heat surround him. As Glorfindel rested for a moment, Erestor’s mind unconsciously opened and he was nearly overcome as waves of his beloved’s emotions flooded into him. Whatever doubt might have remained that Glorfindel truly loved him could not withstand the onslaught: it melted away and vanished in the intense heat of the Glorfindel’s love. “Oh,” he whispered unsteadily, “you really love me…”

“I really love you,” Glorfindel responded, raising his head to gaze adoringly into Erestor’s unseeing eyes. His hands gently cupped Erestor’s face. “You know now?” he asked gently. 

“I know now,” Erestor whispered, any further words cut off by Glorfindel’s mouth on his own. His lover’s, now his mate’s, probing tongue sought and was granted entrance, entwining around its counterpart.

Their loving was slow and gentle, their actions quieted by the rush of shared feelings and thoughts. Each moment forged a new link in their bond until it became strong and unbreakable, a thing of substance. And in the end, amid whispered and repeated words of love, the two lay sated, content, as entwined in body as their souls. Erestor’s head rested on his mate’s chest, and he drifted to sleep, listening to the measured cadence of their hearts beating in unison.

Tbc…

 

Title: Seeing With the Heart (7/7)  
Author: Aglarien  
Type: FPS  
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.  
Warnings: AU.  
Beta: phyncke  
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.  
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.

 

We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.  
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).

 

Chapter 7

In the morning, the newly married couple breakfasted in bed. Glorfindel delighted in feeding Erestor, and the counselor took great pleasure in the thoughtful attention. After a shared bath, Elrond visited, sitting with them for a while, and the three spoke of the results of the visit to the Havens. 

Elrond was aware of the changed nature of their relationship, as anyone would be who saw them, but he chose to say nothing, leaving it to Glorfindel and Erestor to announce it when they willed. Although it was normal for Elves to go through a public betrothal, followed by a wedding a year later, it was not unusual for those whose families no longer dwelt on Arda to bypass these customs. Given the centuries that the two had been close friends, their actions did not surprise the Lord of Imladris in the least, and he was most pleased with the development. If they continued to say nothing, he would offer them quiet congratulations at their welcoming feast to be held the following evening.

After Elrond left, Erestor, with Glorfindel at his side, explored the halls and familiar rooms of the house in the quiet of the mid-morning, his walking stick tap-tap-tapping the way from the library to the kitchens. Not a room of his normal domain was left uninvestigated. So happy was he to be home again that he even ventured up and down a few stairs and dragged Glorfindel to the stables to visit the horses. Lunch was in the kitchens, where Glorfindel explained to the cooks how best to serve Erestor his food. As expected, they took Erestor under their wing even more than before, and plied the counselor with the best delicacies Imladris had to offer, as if he was undernourished and underfed. 

Escaping from the kitchens, they explored the gardens, where Erestor finally tired. Finding a secluded, shady grove near a soothing waterfall, they lay beneath a tree where Erestor immediately fell asleep, his head upon Glorfindel’s lap. It was perhaps an hour later when Glorfindel looked up from gently stroking the dark hair and smiled at the two approaching Elves.

“Is he asleep?” Melpomaen whispered, dropping silently to the ground next to Erestor.

Glorfindel nodded as Lindir gracefully seated himself next to Erestor’s assistant. “He still tires easily and needs to rest in the middle of the day,” the captain whispered. “When he returns to work you must watch out for him and make him rest, Mel.”

Melpomaen nodded. “I will. We both will,” he said, his eyes taking in Lindir. 

Lindir smiled at Glorfindel, his eyes sparkling with delight. From the look in Glorfindel’s eyes, it was evident that the captain and chief counselor had finally bonded. “Elrond thought it would be best for Erestor’s second assistant to be someone he knows and is comfortable with, so he chose me for the position. I am honored, although I hope the need is only temporary.”

“That will please him,” Glorfindel said softly. “I am glad it is you.”

“What will please me?” Erestor asked, moving his head to a more comfortable spot on Glorfindel’s lap.

“You should still be sleeping,” Glorfindel said.

“You were talking too loud,” Erestor answered. “Who is here with us? And what will please me?”

“Mel and Lindir are here,” Glorfindel said. “Lindir is to be your second assistant.”

Erestor sat bolt upright, reaching his hands out to feel the other elves. “You are right. It does please me,” he said with a smile. “You do not mind, Lindir?” He had managed to find and hold one of Mel’s hands and one of Lindir’s, knowing which was whose because of the calluses on the tips of the harper’s fingers. “It will keep you from spending as much time with your music.”

“I will still have the evenings for my music, Erestor. I do not mind – I am happy to help you,” Lindir replied.

“Do you need to return to the house soon?” Glorfindel asked the two younger Elves. 

“No, we thought we could sit with Erestor if there was anything you needed to do,” Melpomaen answered. “That is, if he is willing.”

“Would you mind if they stayed with you while I took care of something, love?” Glorfindel asked Erestor. “I will not be gone long.”

Erestor would have liked to tell Glorfindel that he really did mind and didn’t want him to leave, but he knew he could not keep his mate at his side forever. They both had duties to perform. “I do not mind staying with them,” he said, releasing Mel and Lindir’s hands to wrap his arms around his mate. “Hurry back.”

“I will,” Glorfindel whispered before placing a soft kiss on Erestor’s lips. “Take care of him for me,” he said, looking at Mel and Lindir. “Erestor should still rest, but do not leave him alone.”

“You can trust him to us,” Lindir said. “We won’t let anything happen to him.”

“Don’t fuss,” Erestor told his mate quietly, cupping Glorfindel’s face with his hand. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you will return. I will stay right here and wait for you.”

Glorfindel moved his head to kiss Erestor’s fingers, and then rose and took his leave.

The minute Glorfindel was out of earshot, Melpomaen practically bounced. “You are bound!” he exclaimed excitedly. “The two of you finally admitted you love each other!”

Erestor chuckled. “My blindness did that, at least,” he said. “I never knew such happiness existed,” he said dreamily. “Glorfindel is so…so…”

“Wonderful?” Lindir said with a grin. “Kind? Considerate? Perfect for you?”

“All of that and more,” Erestor said, leaning back against the tree.

“Lie down and rest your head on my lap, Erestor,” Melpomaen said, guiding his superior into a comfortable position. “Glorfindel said you should rest and we can still talk this way.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Erestor said, making himself comfortable. “You are much softer than the tree, if not as cozy as Glorfindel. Now, tell me what’s been going on in my office and around the house since I’ve been gone.” Erestor suspected that Elrond had chosen Lindir as his second assistant for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact it would put him in the nearly constant company of Melpomaen. He and Glorfindel were not the only stubborn Elves in the valley, and many thought that the minstrel and Erestor’s assistant should have dealt with their hidden feelings for each other long ago. He would just see if he couldn’t further their relationship a bit more while they were working together for him.

"Does it bother you to wear those bandages over your eyes?" Melpomaen suddenly asked. 

"They are a bit annoying," Erestor said, "but I am getting used to them."

The three Elves spent the next hour chatting amicably about the happenings of the house and making plans for how they would work together.

When Glorfindel returned, it was to find Erestor once again asleep and Mel and Lindir talking quietly. After thanking the two younger Elves for staying with Erestor and carefully moving his mate's head to his lap without waking him, Glorfindel settled down to watch over the sleeping Elf.

Erestor woke in the late afternoon and they returned to their rooms with enough time to begin a game of chess before dinner was brought. Erestor having to keep the image of the board in his head did nothing to lessen his skill and, as usual, he was thoroughly defeating Glorfindel. After dinner they resumed the chess match for a short while, before abandoning it for bed and heartfelt lovemaking.

The next morning brought a repeat of the previous day's activities, although Glorfindel's trusting of Erestor to Mel and Lindir's care was for a much shorter period of time. 

"You were not gone for long," Erestor said when the younger Elves had left and they sat alone beneath a large tree in the cool grove. "Was everything all right in the barracks?"

"I did not go to the barracks," Glorfindel responded.

"You did not?" Erestor said, surprised. "I thought you would be checking on your men."

"I checked in on them yesterday and if there was anything wrong my second would have found me," the captain said. "No, I was doing something much more important."

Erestor could hear a bit of excitement and a gentle tease in Glorfindel's voice. "What?" he said, easily falling for the bait.

There was the sound of fabric rustling. "This," Glorfindel said, taking one of Erestor's hands and placing a small pouch in it. "Open it."

Erestor felt the pouch, opened it, and poured the contents out onto his palm, knowing what they were. A smile spread across his handsome face. "Rings," he whispered.

"Yes," Glorfindel answered, pulling Erestor's back against his chest and enfolding the slighter Elf in his arms. "I want everyone to know that you are mine." Taking the smaller of the two rings, he slipped it onto Erestor's ring finger saying, "They are of purest gold, and engraved inside of each are the words, 'There is no darkness where there is love.'"

"There is no darkness where there is love," Erestor whispered softly. He moved his fingers over Glorfindel's hands to locate the correct finger and slipped the second ring onto it. "It is true," he whispered. "There is no darkness in my life as long as I have you. You are my love and my light."

"As you are mine, my heart," Glorfindel answered, lifting Erestor's chin with his fingers to capture his mate's soft mouth in a passionate kiss. When he was forced to lift his lips from Erestor's for breath, he said softly, "It is time for us to think about getting dressed for the feast tonight."

"Must we go?" Erestor asked, dreading having to make an appearance. "I hate the thought of trying to eat in front of everyone and stumbling around with everyone feeling sorry for me."

"My love," Glorfindel said firmly, "you have yet to stumble around anything, and you eat very well. There will be no pity. I will be beside you every second, I promise you."

"I suppose we have no choice. It is the feast to welcome us home after all."

"No, we really do not have a choice," Glorfindel answered, helping Erestor rise.

Two hours later, they appeared at the doors to the dining hall, dressed in their finest robes. No circlet graced Erestor’s brow; he had refused to wear it along with the black bandages over his eyes. But the bandages did not detract from how elegantly he wore his exquisite burgundy and gold robes, or how regal Glorfindel appeared beside him in blue and gold. 

“Are you ready, love?” Glorfindel asked as they stopped before the closed doors.

“No. But I suppose that does that matter. There is nothing that will make me more ready, so let us go in,” Erestor replied, his walking stick firmly in one hand and the other holding Glorfindel’s hand tightly instead of lightly resting on the captain’s arm.

Glorfindel opened the doors – and then stopped. Cheers and applause broke out, and the captain’s shoulder’s shook in silent mirth for a moment before his hearty laughter rang out.

“What is it?” Erestor whispered pleadingly.

“Erestor, my love,” Glorfindel managed to gasp out in between his guffaws, “every single Elf is wearing a black bandage with little holes cut in it for his or her eyes!” He laughed anew as he looked out at the sea of black-masked faces. “Even the little twins!”

Elrond approached holding a black scarf in his hand. “May I?” he asked, motioning to Glorfindel.

“With pleasure,” the golden-haired Elf responded, allowing Elrond to tie the bandage over his eyes and adjusting the slits to see. Glorfindel took Erestor’s hands and raised them to his face to feel the bandage. “And now I have one too.”

Erestor smiled and visibly relaxed. “How very kind they all are,” he said quietly.

“Indeed,” Glorfindel said, leading his mate to their places.

“Are those wedding rings I note on your finger and Glorfindel’s, Erestor?” Elrond asked, happy to see his chief counselor made more comfortable by their gesture of the masks. He would have to be sure and thank Mel and Lindir again for thinking of it.

“They are,” Erestor replied softly. 

“Then our reason to celebrate is doubled,” Elrond said. His thoughts of how to break the news to everyone that the two most sought-after Elves in the realm were no longer available came to naught; Glorfindel simply held up his hands to silence the room and proudly proclaimed to one and all that he and Erestor had wed. So much for diplomacy, Elrond thought, grinning at the loud cheers and applause.

The days passed and Erestor returned to work in his office. As predicted, the servants, seeming to feel that Melpomaen and Lindir were incapable of seeing to the counselor’s needs, peeked in every five or ten minutes – or each time they passed – to ask if Master Erestor needed anything, or if they could do anything for him, or fetch something or someone for him. Erestor was nearly driven to distraction by the interruptions until Lindir hung a schedule on the door for the servants to write their names in each of the spaces for predetermined visits - one visit every two hours only. After some minor scuffling about who got to check on the counselor more often, it worked out very well. The cooks took advantage of the schedule, making it known that the servants were to pick up fresh tea and delicacies for “dear Master Erestor” and deliver them each time they checked on the counselor’s needs. 

Eventually Erestor’s need for rest lessened, and his old strength returned. Melpomaen and Lindir read letters and contracts to him, and Erestor dictated replies and agreements, which the two younger Elves dutifully wrote in their fine scripts. Erestor was careful to keep the two working closely together, hoping to foster their relationship. The abundant fare from the kitchens did not go unconsumed; the three Elves polished off copious amounts of tea to soothe throats overused from reading and speaking, and Melpomaen and Lindir seemed to take refuge in the food from desires heightened by constant closeness to each other.

Glorfindel returned to his duties as captain, but made certain to forego any extended patrols, returning each night to Erestor’s arms. He had promised Erestor he would be with him in the dark, and to that promise he held fast. 

The weeks passed with no improvement in Erestor’s vision, and all had resigned themselves to his continued blindness, although Elrond still insisted he wear the bandages. 

The heat of the late summer was stifling, and Erestor stopped speaking and rose from his desk to face the open window. He slipped the bandages off of his eyes, hoping to feel a breeze on his overheated face, and his eyes involuntarily opened. “Mel, go and get Elrond,” he said breathlessly, forgetting the need for air. “Run!”

Melpomaen ran.

“Erestor?” Lindir said questioningly. “What is it? What is wrong?” 

Erestor shook his head and finally said with some measure of calmness, “Lindir, will you see if you can find Glorfindel please? He will be in the barracks or on the training field.”

“I should not leave you alone,” Lindir protested. 

“Mel and Elrond will be here any second,” Erestor said. “Go – please. Get Glorfindel for me.”

At that moment, Mel and Elrond arrived and Lindir hurried off to find the find the captain.

“What has happened, Erestor?” Elrond said, bearing down on Erestor, his voice concerned. 

“Nothing is wrong,” Erestor said, finally remembering to breathe deeply. “I can see light. And shadow. I can see your shape.”

Elrond exclaimed joyously and was subjecting Erestor to a series of tests when Glorfindel burst into the room with Lindir. Upon being told the news, he pulled Erestor into his arms and buried his face in the dark mane, too overcome for words.

Melpomaen was so overwhelmed with the news that he threw his arms around Lindir and kissed him passionately - an action that the musician did not seem to mind at all, and indeed, most heartily returned.

It was a week after Erestor first saw light and shadow that Glorfindel awoke to find sparkling, clear, grey eyes looking down at him.

“Your eyes are the blue of an evening summer sky, twinkling with stars,” Erestor whispered. “Your hair is more golden than the ripest summer corn in the fields. Your light shines, white and pure. You are beautiful.”

“You can see!” Glorfindel exclaimed, pulling Erestor into his arms. Inexplicably there were tears in his blue eyes that needed to be blinked away. 

“I can see,” Erestor replied as he was buried in an embrace, “but never have I seen more clearly than in my blindness with you, the light in my darkness. Your love for me was always there, giving me hope and strength. I love you, Glorfindel. I will always love you.”

“You were seeing with your heart, beloved,” Glorfindel answered softly. “Blind or sighted – I love you, Erestor. And I always will. Heart of my heart, soul of my soul, my beautiful, beautiful Erestor.”

Erestor rested his head on his husband’s chest, listening to the cadenced beating of Glorfindel’s heart, the softness of his measured breaths. He was loved. In spite of himself, because of himself. He was loved. And he always would be.

~the end.


End file.
